Falling Upside Down
by purplepagoda
Summary: Maximilian-latin for greatest. For Tony, and Ziva it spells trouble. What will happen when Tony finds out about Max? Can he and Ziva repair the relationship, or will everything fall apart.
1. Max

She pulls the door open. Her partner smiles at her. He holds up a bag of take out, and a movie.

"Can I come in?"

"You should have called first," she answers.

"If you have company, I can go."

"I don't."

He squints, noticing a large bruise on her arm.

"What happened there?" He points.

She takes a moment to look at the bruise and then replies, "It is a long story."

"I have no where to be."

"Come in," she motions.

He moves towards the kitchen. He places the bag on the counter. She moves to the cabinet. She pulls out a couple of glasses.

"What do you want to drink?"

"Whatever you've got is fine."

She stares into the fridge, "Apple juice, or..." she pushes the apple juice aside, "Ahh, there is some soda back here."

"Soda's fine," he agrees.

She pours them each a glass. He takes the glass from her.

"The bruise?"

"I got hit by a truck," she admits.

"A truck?" he questions, furrowing his brow.

"Not a real truck, a toy truck," she admits.

"You were playing with a toy truck?"

"No, I wasn't playing with a toy truck."

"Ziva why do you insist on keeping me at arms length?"

"I have to," she answers.

"I always feel like you're hiding something really important from me."

"Because I am."

"What I don't understand is why you feel the need to."

"I don't want to hurt you."

"How would you hurt me?"

"I have made some decisions, that have the potential to hurt you. That's why I don't reveal them."

"What could possibly be that bad?"

"I did not say that it was bad, just hurtful."

"You don't trust me."

"I never said that."

"So what, then?"

"Sometimes you're wrong."

"Wrong? What were you wrong about? I'm trying to..."

"Tony I think you should go."

"Why? It's eight o'clock. Is it past your bedtime? Do you have a hot date?"

She looks up at him, her eyes plead with him.

He shakes his head, "I'm not leaving until you tell me what you're hiding."

"I am trying to protect you."

"From what?"

"A truth that I cannot take back."

"Just tell me," he begs.

"I am trying to give you the opportunity to walk away. I am trying to give you the chance, to walk away from this situation, and never look back. I want you to have the option to say no. Once I tell you you will not have that option."

"How can I say no, when I don't know what you're hiding?"

"You have to make a decision first. You stay, or you go. It is simple."

"I stay."

"But, if you stay, you are all in."

"I don't know exactly what you're referring to, but I'm going to take the chance. I'm all in," he reveals.

"Ima!" a voice from the back of the apartment calls out.

Ziva ignores it, in the hope that it does not continue. She hopes that Tony hasn't heard it.

"Someone else here?"

"No, why would you think that?"

"Because someone just said something."

"Tony, you're hearing things."

"I don't think so," he argues.

"It was nothing."

"Why do you always act so strange when I come over? Do you have a monster hidden in your closet?"

"Nope, I check them frequently."

Tony hears shuffling. He looks at Ziva, she stares at him, unfazed by the noises.

"There is definitely someone else here," he insists as footsteps near them.

She shakes her head. Tony leans against the counter, refusing to look behind him. Ziva stares past him.

"It's behind me, isn't it?"

She shakes her head as she stares into the shadows of her living room.

"Ziva who is here?"

"I can't tell you."

"Can't or won't?"

"I can't. If I tell you, you will never forgive me."

"Forgive you, for what? Do you have a man here?"

"Not exactly," she replies.

"But there is someone here?" he questions, "Is that the secret?"

"Yes," she nods.

"Who?"

"Max," she answers.

"Max? Is that your dog? Did you get a dog? Max is a great dog name," he rambles.

"No," she responds sadly.

He touches her face, "Look at me," he begs, gently turning her face towards him.

She stares back at him. Her lips are pursed, they do not move. She stares at him with a pained look.

"Ima," a voice repeats, quieter, but closer.

"Where is that coming from?" he questions

"Tony, don't be angry."

"Angry? Why would you think that I am going to be angry?"

"Furious would probably be more accurate," she admits.

"Mommy!" an angry voice demands attention behind Tony.

Ziva takes her eyes off Tony. She looks behind him, at a small figure standing at the edge of the kitchen. "Go to bed, now."

"But..." the voice begins to protest.

"You heard me," she says firmly.

"But..."

"I will be there in a minute. I am in the middle of a conversation. When I am finished I will come get you," she growls.

"Ok," he sulks.

"Maximilian, now!" she scolds.

He turns around, and leaves. Tony's eyes stare at her. She tries to avoid his glance, but she catches it. He locks eyes with her.

"There is a kid in your apartment? That is your secret?"

"Yes," she nods.

"A kid who called you mommy?"

"Yes," she admits.

"Who is he?"

"His name is Max," she reveals.

"I didn't ask what his name was, I asked who he was."


	2. Truth Hurts

"Your son? You have a son? How old is he?"

"He's four."

"Four? How did I not know that?"

"I have tried very hard to keep it a secret. I did not want you to know."

"Why not? Why wouldn't you tell me? That is something important, don't you think? How could you hide a kid for four years? When you went back to Israel? When you were in Somalia."

"I had a nanny, and while I was in Somalia he stayed with my aunt Nettie."

"Why didn't you tell me? Does anyone else know?"

"No."

"You hid it from everyone, why would you do that?"

"You are not going to understand."

"Does your father know about him?"

"Of course."

"Unbelievable."

"I did what I thought was best."

"You have a kid that you haven't told anyone about, how is that best?"

"I didn't want anyone to get hurt."

"Who does that hurt?"

"I realize now, that I did it for selfish reasons. I should have told you. I should not have kept it a secret. I just thought that it was the only decision I could make, but I now know that I was wrong. I made a mistake."

"Damn, right. He's four, I can't believe that you could keep a secret of this magnitude, for that long. You should have told me. I am your partner."

"There's more," she admits.

"More? How could there be more? Is there another kid around here, somewhere?"

"No. Just him."

"So what else could there be?"

"You are not going to like it."

"Like what?"

"The reason that I chose not to tell you."

"Which was what?"

"I did not think that you were prepared to handle this."

"Handle what?"

"A child," she answers.

"What are you talking about?"

"I thought that you would be unable to do what was required."

"Required? Ziva I am not following you, at all."

"Max's father, doesn't know about him."

"You thought that I would want to assume that role? You thought it would create complications, that you weren't ready to deal with?"

"Not exactly."

"I never told Max's father because I thought that he was too irresponsible. I did not think that he was ready to be a father."

"You've changed your mind?"

"A boy needs a father. I have tried to deny that, but it is true. I can't be everything he needs, no matter how hard I try. I can play with trucks, and GI Joes, and cars, and trains, and superheroes all day long, but I am not his father. The day after he started preschool he asked me why he didn't have a dad."

"What did you tell him?"

"The truth. I have never lied to him. I told him that he did have a father, but that I never told him"

"What did he say?"

"He told me to tell him, because he wanted one."

"A dad?"

"He told me that if his real dad wasn't good enough that I could find him a substitute."

"Did he list any qualifications?"

"He had to be taller than me, and he had to let him play video games."

"I take it you don't let him play video games?"

"No."

"Mom!" an impatient voice calls out.

"Max go in my room, and watch T.V. I will be come back there in a few minutes," she hollers back.

"Can I watch Nightmare on Elm Street?"

"No."

"Fun sucker!" he yells back.

"He has you pegged."

"He's like a fifteen year old, in a four year olds body. He is preschool, and he has already had three girlfriends."

"Mom you know your gun is back here," he shouts.

"Yes Max, I am aware. I think that you know if you touch it you will be missing fingers."

"Yes ma'am," he answers.

"So his dad isn't in the picture?" Tony inquires.

"No."

"Are you going to tell him? Is he a worthy candidate."

"I'm telling you," she replies.

"But what about the boy's father? Are you going to tell him?"

"Yes, I am."

"When?"

"I have been contemplating it for months."

"What are you waiting for?"

"I was waiting on the right time. The longer I waited, the more I realized there is no right time."

"So you aren't going to tell him?"

"I am, but there is not right time."

"Do I know his father?"

"Yes," she nods.

"Does he meet Max's standards?"

"He exceeds them."

"I can't believe that you have a four year old. It completely blows my mind. I'm having a hard time picturing you as someone's mother. I'm having a hard time picturing you pregnant. I never noticed that you were pregnant. How did you manage that?"

"It wasn't easy."

"Is that why you took that one summer off?"

"Yes," she admits.

"Why didn't you tell me, then?"


	3. How The West Was Won

"I didn't know how to."

"Why not?"

"How do you tell your partner that you're pregnant with their child?"

All color drains from his face. His heart skips a beat. He swallows hard.

He sputters, "Excuse me?"

"Max's birthday is August 7th."

He does the math in his head, "Nine months after..."

"We went undercover," she finishes the sentence.

"You're serious?"

"Yes."

"I have a son?"

She points to herself, and then to him, "We have a son."

"You should have told me."

"I know. I was trying to what was best for Max, I thought that..."

"I wasn't it?"

"I just thought that you weren't ready to have a child . I did not think that you would want that responsibility."

"You should have told me," he responds.

"I know. I hurt you, and I hurt Max. I kept him from you for four years. Four years that you can't get back. I understand now that I did the wrong thing."

"If I hadn't come here tonight, how long would it be before you told me?"

"I don't know," she answers candidly.

"Can I see him?"

"Yeah," she nods. She leaves the kitchen. She goes into her bedroom, where Max is watching T.V. She sits down on the bed next to him.

"Max we need to have a discussion," she begins.

"About not interrupting adult conversations?"

"I think that you have heard that one enough."

"I'm sorry," he apologizes as he stares at the T.V. She takes the remote, and flips off the T.V.

His head spins around, to face her. "Hey!" he protests.

"I need your full attention."

"Can you hurry? Justice league is on next."

"Maximilian, this is very important."

"Why did you have to give me such a long name? Couldn't you have just named me Max?"

"Focus, please."

"What?"

"Do you remember how you asked me about your dad?"

"Yes. Am I ever going to meet him? I'm starting to think that you made him up."

"I did not."

"Where is he?"

"Max I told him about you."

"He doesn't want to meet me?"

"Yes, he does."

"When can I meet him?"

"How long will it take you to get to the kitchen?"

"With my Batman cape, or without?"

"Without," she smiles.

"Still super fast, why?"

"Because he is in the kitchen."

"My dad is in the kitchen? That Tony guy is the kitchen."

"That Tony guy?"

"Your partner."

"I know."

"He's my dad?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"Would I tell you that he is, if he was not?"

"No."

"Then you better go out there."

"It's past my bedtime," he points to the clock.

"We can make an exception, this once."

He slides past her onto the floor. "Max, wait."

He turns around, and plants a kiss on her cheek, "Thanks mommy." He runs out of her bedroom. He sees Tony standing in the kitchen as he enters the living room. He zooms into the kitchen. He stops in front of Tony. He just stares up at him.

"You're taller than I expected," Max admits.

"Hi, buddy."

"Don't call my buddy. My name is Max."

"Sorry Max."

"So you're the guy?"

"I'm the guy," Tony nods.

"You're really my dad?"

"Would you like to trade me in for a newer model?"

"No, you'll do," Max answers, sizing him up.

Tony smiles. The boy has big brown eyes. He has a mop of brown wavy, hair. He wears a Batman pajama top, Spiderman pajama bottoms, and Incredible Hulk slippers.

"What's with the pajamas?"

"I like to wear as many superheroes as possible. My underoos have Iron man on them."

"Your mom lets you dress yourself?"

"Not if we're going to leave the house," he sulks.

"Bummer."

"She doesn't let me wear my cape outside."

"She's pretty cool, huh?"

"I guess," he shrugs.

"So is there anything you'd like to know about me?"

"Will you let me play video games?"

Ziva chimes in, "No he will not."

"We'll talk," Tony whispers.

"So since I don't have to go to bed right now, can we watch a movie?"

"Max, we are not watching Nightmare on Elm Street."

"Mom!" he protests.

"I think that Iron Man is on T.V. tonight," Tony offers.

"I've seen it, three times."

"Oh."

"We could watch How The West Was Won," Max offers.

Ziva rolls her eyes. "Again?"

"Again?" Tony questions.

"When Max is not channeling his inner superhero, he moonlights as a cowboy. His latest obsession is How The West Was Won. I have been trying to explain to him that John Wayne only played a cowboy."

"That's who I wanted to be for Halloween, she wouldn't let me. I had to be Batman instead."


	4. Lost Boys

Max finds himself wedged between Tony, and Ziva on the couch. Ziva's legs are tucked under her. Her elbow rests on the arm of the couch, and her head rests on her fist. Tony sits on the other end of the couch, his feet rest on the coffee table. Max slides out from in between them. He goes to his room. Ziva unfolds her legs, and rolls over. She extends her legs. Her feet, and part of her legs lie on Tony's lap. Max returns with a Batman throw. He tosses it over them, and returns to his room. He closes the door, to muffle the sound of them snoring.

Hours later, Tony opens his eyes. He finds Ziva's legs resting on him. He watches her as she sleeps. He lifts her feet off of him, and slides off the couch. He stretches, and heads to the other room. He opens the door of Max's bedroom. He tiptoes into the room. He stands beside the bed. He watches Max as he sleeps. He hears footsteps, they stop a few feet behind him.

She stands in her son's bedroom, realizing how mistaken she had been. She watches Tony, watch Max. Tony takes a seat on the edge of the bed. Max lies on his stomach. Tony pats his back. "Max," he says softly. Max rolls over. He opens his eyes, and looks at Tony.

"Morning," Max smiles.

"Morning."

"I'm hungry," he admits.

Ziva looks at him, "Pancakes?" she questions from the doorway.

Max nods, she leaves the room.

"Max I'm sorry that I just found out about you," he apologizes.

"Never apologize, it's a sign of weakness."

"Rule number 6," Tony recites.

"I thought of some questions."

"Go ahead."

"Actually, it's just one question."

"What's that?"

"Do you love my mommy?"

"Why do you ask? What have you heard?"

"I haven't heard anything, I was just curious."

"Yeah, Max, I do."

"So why aren't you with her?"

"Things aren't always simple."

"Have you told her?"

"No."

"Don't you think that she should know?"

"Yes."

"So tell her."

"Max this isn't a fairytale."

"I know. You should still tell her."

"Why?"

"I want you to be together."

"Mommy's, and daddy's aren't always together, but that doesn't mean they love you any less."

"That's what she said."

"She knows what she's talking about."

"She loves you, you know."

"What makes you think that?"

"Cause I asked her."

"She said yes?"

"Uh huh. She said you didn't know. She said that sometimes you really want to tell someone the truth, but you can't, because you love them, and you don't want to hurt them. I told her that was dumb."

"What else did she say?"

"She said that lying is not excusable, even if it is for the right reasons. She told me that she wished she had told you the truth, but sometimes people don't tell the truth, and they tangle themselves in a web of their own lies."

"That's true."

"So why haven't you told her?"

"I guess I was afraid."

"Of what?"

"Her saying that she didn't feel the same about me."

"But she does."

"If I didn't know better I would think that you're trying to scheme us."

"I am, but I'm telling the truth."

"Do you think that you should get dressed?"

"I never get dressed before I eat pancakes."

"Why not?"

"She says I take after you."

"How is that?"

"Whatever I eat I wear."

"What else has she told you?"

"That you are a movie buff."

"That is true," he nods.

"When am I going to see you again?"

"Whenever you want."

"Are you busy today?"

"Nope."

"We could drag mommy to the movies. She hates the lines, and the overpriced candy, and she always tries to pay me off, so we can do something else."

"Sounds perfect."

"Max!" Ziva's voice echoes.

Max jumps out of bed. Tony follows him into the kitchen. Ziva takes a seat. Tony stands next to the counter.

"Are you going to sit down?" she questions.

Tony looks down at the unclaimed plate.

"Yeah," he agrees he pulls out a chair at the table. He sits between Ziva, and Max.

"Can I ask something?" Tony questions Ziva.

"I cannot stop you," she replies.

"Where did you come up with the name Max?"

"Do you remember making me watch Lost Boys, five years ago?"

"It was June. I had a grape Popsicle, you stole it."

"I stole it so it would not melt."

"That is where you got the name Max from?"

"I just liked the name."

"But his name is Maximilian, isn't it?"

"It is, I thought that Max was too simple."

"Do I dare ask what his middle name is?"

"You can ask, I am not sure that I want to answer," Ziva replies.

"It's Anthony," Max reveals.


	5. The Boy With The Cape

"Max you should go get dressed," Ziva suggests.

"If you want to have an adult conversation just say so," Max replies.

"Go," she insists.

She rinses the dishes in the sink. Tony watches her. He walks up behind her, and puts his hands on the counter, on either side of her. She turns around, and stares at him.

"Is there a reason you're trying to entrap me?" she inquires.

"I want to have a conversation, and I don't want you to go anywhere."

"Ok," she nods.

"Why didn't you tell me this? Why didn't you tell me that I have a four year old son?"

"I made a mistake," she admits.

"I know that you were just trying to protect him, and you weren't wrong to do that, but you should have given me the chance to make a decision."

"I did not want you to disappoint him."

"I wouldn't have."

"I am sorry."

"Can I have him? For the day?"

"Yes," she nods.

"How are we going to make this work?"

"You have to be consistent," she replies.

"I want to be able to tuck him into bed every night."

"I will try to make that work," she agrees.

"I don't want to have to go to court in order to see him," Tony clarifies, "but I will if I have to."

"You don't, as long as you are reasonable."

"Ok," he nods.

"How long is it going to take for me to earn your trust back?"

"A while."

"And your respect?"

"A while," he repeats.

"If you want to be angry with me, I would understand."

"I'm upset that you didn't think that you could tell me. I know that I have, in the past, been irresponsible. I know I have walked away from things when I shouldn't have, but this is not one of them. You should have told me, from the beginning."

"I did not know if I could trust you, then. I was still getting to know you. I never intended for this to happen."

"I didn't say that you did."

"You should probably get in there, before he finds his cape."

"I never pictured you as someone's mother."

"Nor did I," she admits.

"But now that I see it, I see that you're amazing."

"I am not amazing. I have made a lot of mistakes, I just got lucky, he is resilient."

"I am kind of surprised that you chose to keep him."

She looks into the living room, towards Max's bedroom for a moment. She smiles, looking him in the eye, "So was I. After I found out that I was having him, I never had any doubt though. To this day I don't think I could explain why," she reveals.

"What time should I have him home?"

"His bedtime is eight thirty," she responds.

"I'll have him home before that."

She looks into his eyes. She studies his facial expression. She reads him and replies, "Maybe next time, we can talk about him spending the night with you," she offers.

"Ok," he smiles.

"But no scary movies," she warns.

"I can't let him watch Nightmare On Elm Street?"

"Not unless you want to be awakened in the middle of the night for the next several weeks, until his nightmares go away."

"Fair enough," he nods, dropping his hands to his sides. He turns and walks away. Several seconds later he finds himself standing in the doorway of Max's room. He sees Max's closet door open, but doesn't see him.

"Max, are you dressed?"

Max jumps out of the closet wearing an blue hoodie, and a pair of blue jeans.

"Did you pick that out on your own?"

"No," he shakes his head. "Mommy hangs up all the clothes I can wear together on one hanger."

"Why is that?"

"One morning we were running late, and she told me to get dressed. So I put on a Hulk t-shirt and orange sweatpants. Then I put on my yellow rain boots, because it was rainy. Oh, and my blue toboggan."

"She made you change?"

"Yeah, and then she was late for work, and she was grumpy when she got home."

"So she doesn't let you pick your clothes out?"

"I can pick out socks, underwear, and pajamas."

"What about if you're going out in public?"

"No way."

"What if you aren't going anywhere?"

"Then I am allowed to wear anything I want."

"Do you wear superhero costumes?"

"No," he shakes his head, "Mostly I wear my cape, and my underwear, and sometimes my socks."

"Really?"

"She said I must get that from you."

"Wanting to wear a cape?"

"Wanting to run around in my underwear."

"Are you ready to go?"

"Go where?"

"Wherever."

"With who?" Max questions.

"Me."

"What about mommy?"

"It's just going to be me and you for a while."

"Cool, will you let me watch..."

Tony cuts him off, "No."

"You don't even know what I was going to say," Max argues.

"Nightmare on Elm Street?"

Max folds his arms, "Mommy only says she knows everything, I don't think that's really true."

"I wouldn't count on it," Tony smiles.


	6. Like Father, Like Son

Tony looks in the rearview mirror, at the little boy in his backseat, as he drives.

"Max?"

"Yeah?"

"Why did you call your mom, ima?"

"She pays better attention when I speak in Hebrew."

"You think?"

"I usually just call her that when I'm mad. It means mom."

"Do you speak a lot of Hebrew?"

"No, I usually just do it to annoy her."

"Annoy her, why does it annoy her?"

"It makes her homesick, I think. One time when I was at pre-school I would only talk to my teacher in Hebrew. Miss Greene called mom at work."

"Did you get punished?"

"She told me she was going to spank me so hard that I wouldn't be able to sit down for a week."

"Did she?"

"She turned me over her knee, but I asked her not to, and she started crying."

"So you didn't get in trouble?"

"I did. She took away my T.V. privileges for a week."

"That's harsh. Has she ever spanked you?"

"No," he shakes his head, "She usually sends me to my room to think about what I did."

"Does that work?"

"Well, I play with my toys until I hear her coming, and then I get up real fast, and sit down on the bed, and I try to look real sad."

"Does she buy it?"

"No. She usually takes my toys for the day."

"Do you get in trouble a lot?"

"In school? Or at home?"

"Either."

"Well one day I made mom really mad."

"How?"

"My teacher sent her a note."

"What did you do?"

"At recess I kissed a girl, but it wasn't my fault."

"It wasn't?"

"I'm not the one who told the teacher," he answers.

"But you did the crime?"

"I didn't kiss her on the mouth, just on the cheek," he explains.

"Girls are trouble."

"Sometimes."

"So what's your girlfriend's name?"

"Which one?" he inquires.

"You have more than one?"

"Well there's Emily, I just sit with her at lunch, cause if I wink at her she'll give me her cookie. And then there's Maddie, I hold hands with her at recess, we play with the sidewalk chalk. And then there is Hannah, I blow her kisses during art, so she shares her colored pencils with me. She has the best colored pencils, I hate markers, they're so messy."

"I see. Are any of them the one?"

"Maddie wants to get married, but I told her that I want to keep my options open."

"Do you ever get in trouble for fighting?"

"Yeah, that made mom real mad, too. I karate chopped this boy named Aiden."

"Did he deserve it?"

"Yes, but mommy wouldn't even let me explain, she just sent me to my room."

"What did he do?"

"He shoved Maddie, on purpose."

"The teacher wrote a note home that day, too?"

"No, mommy had to come pick me up from school. I kicked him in the face. He got a bloody nose, and cried like a baby."

"Did you tell him you were sorry?"

"Mom made me write him a note."

"Did he accept it?"

"He can't read," Max reveals.

"You can read?"

"Yep. Where are we going?" He changes the subject.

"First I'm going to stop at my place to change into clean clothes, and then we can go wherever you'd like."

"Ok," Max agrees.

Ten minutes later DiNozzo arrives at his apartment. He sits Max in the living room while he goes to change. He leaves the door cracked so he can hear him.

"Don't look at the magazines," Tony warns.

"I'd get karate chopped if I did."

"If your mom found out, you would, and so would I."

"Are you going to shower?"

"Why?"

"You kind of stink."

"You're so honest."

"I have to tell the truth, it's a rule."

"It is?"

"One of mommy's."

"Oh. You could watch T.V. while I shower."

"Ok," Max answers. He sits patiently on the couch, until he hears Tony turn the shower on. As soon as the water starts running, Max jumps off the couch, and moves over to the cabinet that the TV sits on. He pulls open a drawer, and begins looking through the DVD's. He carefully reads each title. Finally he finds one that interests him. He puts it in the DVD player, and flips on the TV. He wanders into the kitchen, and uses a chair to reach the cabinets. He finds a bag of popcorn, and puts it in the microwave. He pushes the popcorn button, and then goes to the refrigerator for a drink. He pulls out a can of orange soda, and waits for the microwave to beep. He carefully removes the bag of popcorn from the microwave, and grabs his can of soda. He returns to the living room. He places his goods on the coffee table. He plants himself on the sofa, and pulls the coffee table closer. He presses play with the remote, and begins eating his popcorn. He puts his feet on the coffee table.

Tony finishes his shower, and gets dressed. "Still out there?" he calls as he pulls his shirt on.

"Yup," Max answers.

Tony leaves his bedroom. He goes into the living room. He takes a look at the TV screen, and then at Max.

"Where did you get that?"

"The cabinet."

"You used the microwave?"

"Uh huh."

"What are you watching?"

"Halloween," he replies.

Tony takes a seat next to him, on the couch. "Are you sure this isn't going to give you nightmares?" he questions.

"It won't," Max replies.


	7. Halloween Comes Early

She's lying in her bed, asleep when she hears footsteps coming towards her. The door creaks, and someone jumps on the bed. She doesn't open her eyes. She lies on her stomach with one arm off the side off the bed, and the other stretched out. She moves her hand until she comes in contact with another body. She rolls on to her side and opens her eyes.

"Why are you in bed with me?" she whispers.

"I couldn't sleep?"

"You were asleep earlier. Why are you awake now?"

"No reason," he lies.

"Did you watch Nightmare on Elm Street?"

"No."

"So why are you in my bed?"

"I had a bad dream. When I woke up I didn't feel to good."

She kisses his forehead, "You're warm."

"My throat hurts."

"Close your eyes, and go to sleep."

"I don't want to have another bad dream."

"About what?"

"Michael."

"Michael?"

"From Halloween," he replies.

"You watched Halloween?"

"Uh huh."

"Max go to sleep, it's not real."

"I know, but it's still scary."

"I'll protect you."

"The girl always dies first."

"Max go to sleep. It's late, and I have to go to work tomorrow."

"Ok, but can I sleep in here?"

"If you must," she replies.

An hour later she wakes up to the sound of Max screaming. He lies next to her, screaming in her ear.

"Max, wake up," she gently shakes him.

"Mommy..."

"What Max?" she questions in exhaustion.

"I don't think I should have watched that movie."

"Why did he let you watch it?"

"He went to take a shower, and I was bored, so I started watching it."

Ziva rolls over. She grabs her phone off the nightstand. She hands it to Max.

"What's this for?"

"To call Tony."

"I don't want to wake him up."

"You woke me up."

"You're my mommy."

"You said the girls always die first."

"True, but he's going to be grumpy if I wake him up. Will you call him?"

Ziva flips on the lamp. "Give me the phone," she replies.

Max hands the phone to her. She begins dialing. After three rings the party on the other end answers.

"Hello?"

"You need to get up, and come over here."

"Why? What's wrong?"

"You let him watch Halloween, and now he's having nightmares."

"Let him sleep with you," Tony suggests.

"You let him watch the movie, you deal with the nightmares."

"I'll be over in fifteen," he yawns.

"Ok," she hangs up.

"Is he coming?" Max inquires.

"Uh huh."

"We can stay up all night."

"Max you have to go to school tomorrow."

"Why do you have to be a party pooper?"

"Because I'm tired."

Fifteen minutes later Tony arrives at Ziva's apartment. He steps into the apartment, and finds Ziva on the couch, with Max.

"I am going back to sleep now, you can deal with this."

"I don't know how."

"Figure it out," she replies as she walks down the hall back to her room. Tony takes a seat on the couch next to Max.

"You said that you wouldn't have nightmares."

"I didn't think mommy would call you and get you out of bed."

"Why did you lie to me?"

"I didn't. I didn't think that I would have nightmares."

"But you did."

"Yeah," Max nods.

"So do you think you can try and go to sleep now? Let's take you back to your room," Tony offers.

"No. I'll sleep right here, with you," Max answers tossing Tony a blanket.

"Ok," Tony agrees. He situates himself on the couch, and then Max climbs on top of him.

"Does she feed you rocks?"

"No. Why?" he giggles.

"You weigh more than the last time I saw you."

"That was just yesterday," Max points out.

"I know."

Max situates himself on Tony's chest.

Ziva's alarm clock goes off at five. She gets up, and gets a shower. She dries her hair, and gets dressed. She wanders into the living room, and finds Tony asleep on the couch, with his feet hanging over the edge. The Batman blanket covers Max, and half of Tony. Max sleeps on Tony's chest. She pulls the phone out of her pocket, and snaps a picture. She puts the phone away, and tiptoes over to the couch. She kisses Max on the cheek.

"Wake up," she whispers.

He opens his eyes and looks at her. She lifts him off Tony. Max wraps his legs around her, wraps his arms around her neck, and rests his head on her shoulder.

"I'm sleepy," he admits.

"I know, but you still have to go to school."

"Mommy can't I just stay home?"

"No, you need to go get dressed."

"Ok," he agrees. She sits him on the floor, and he saunters to his room. She bends over, and stares at Tony.

"Do you think you might want to go to work today?" she questions.

"No. I like Max's idea better. I'll just stay home," he answers without opening his eyes.

"Tony get up."

"Ok," he agrees.


	8. Expectations

"I want you to have dinner with me tonight."

"I can't," she tells him as he leans over her desk.

"We need to talk, alone."

"I..."

"Figure it out," Tony insists.

"Ok," she nods.

"Trouble in paradise?" Tim jokes as he comes into the squad room.

"We were just talking about how long it will take you to figure out what we did to your stuff," Ziva answers.

1945

He sips his drink, and watches her. She stares at her watch nervously.

"Can we hurry this along?"

"Why are you so antsy?"

"I would like to get home before he falls asleep."

"Dinner should be out any minute."

"Why are we doing this?"

"Having dinner?"

"Yes," she nods.

"I want to talk to you."

"Then talk," she growls.

"I wish that you had told me."

"I know."

"Ziva it would have changed everything."

"I was wrong. What more do you want me to say?"

"I want to have Max two nights a week, and every other weekend."

"Ok," she agrees.

"Are you sure that you're ok with that?"

"He loves being around you, and you two need to spend time together."

"You were expecting me to run, weren't you?"

"Maybe a part of me was."

"I don't want him to have to choose. I want him to see us together."

"Together how?"

"Just together. I want him to know that no matter what has happened in the past, we are both there for him, that he can count on the both of us."

"Tony he's four I don't want to give him the wrong impression."

"He needs two parents. I don't want to have to split up time, and have him feeling conflicted because he wants to be with you when he's with me. I want him to be comfortable."

"How are we going to do that?"

"We spend time with him, together."

"Ok."

"And I promise that I won't undermine your rules. He will have one set of rules no matter where he goes."

"And movies?"

"They have to be approved by the both of us."

"This is hard for me. It is hard for me to see him with you."

"Why? I'm his father."

"For four years he was mine, just mine. I did not have to share him with anyone. I never knew how much anyone could love another person, until I had him. I know it sounds sappy, but..."

"It's true."

"I felt like when I was at home, with him, the rest of the world, it didn't matter. He doesn't care what I do for a living, or what I have done in the past. I guess it was selfish, but I didn't want to share him."

"I can't blame you."

"I should have told you. I almost did."

"When?"

"More than once. The first time was a few months before he was born."

"Why didn't you?"

"I was afraid that you would not be able to forgive me. I was afraid that you would disappoint him, or that you would take him."

"I would never take him from you."

"I know that now. I haven't always trusted you as much as I do now."

"Why did you keep him a secret from everyone?"

"I was afraid that if something terrible happened, that someone could do something to him to get to me, and I just can't live with that thought."

"I see why you've been so guarded for so long. You did not want to let anyone in, because you were afraid that they would hurt him, in some way."

"He is my only weakness."

"I think that it's time to come clean."

"How? What is going to happen if I do?"

"We'll figure it out."

The waiter comes out with the plates. Tony smiles at him, "Can we get this to go?"

"Of course," the waiter nods.

"We're leaving?"

"I want to see him before he falls asleep, too."

"I am not surprised. He is charming, and wraps everyone around his little finger."

"Ziva we never talked about what happened, when we went undercover."

"We did something that..."

He cuts her off, "I know what we did. We never talked about how we felt."

"It was a test," she admits.

"I failed?"

"No," she shakes her head.

"So it was just a test?"

"No."

"But you felt nothing afterwards?"

"Did I say that?"

"You never wanted to talk about it."

"I was afraid to admit that I had made a mistake."

"By sleeping with me?"

"By allowing my feelings to potentially jeopardize my partnership. I did not want to ruin our partnership because of it."

"If we hadn't been partners?"

"It wouldn't have mattered?"

"Would you have pursued it?"

"More sex?"

"A relationship?"

She looks down at the table for a moment, and then looks back up, "Yes. You were my type."

"Your type?"

"The guy who was completely wrong for me, but whom I wanted anyway."


	9. Close Call

"Grab your gear," their fearless leader demands.

"Where are we going boss?" Tim questions.

"Silver Maples preschool," Gibbs replies, as he heads to the elevator.

Tim and Tony follow. Tony looks back, and finds Ziva frozen, at her desk. He returns to the squad room.

"Come on!"

"Max," she whispers.

"What about him?"

"It's his preschool."

"We aren't going to be able do anything, by standing here."

She follows him onto the elevator.

They meet local LEO's at the scene.

"Marine entered the building, took Miss Patton's preschool class hostage."

"That's all you know?" Gibbs barks.

"The rest of the building has been cleared."

As they enter the building Ziva's phone vibrates. She quickly ends the call. They reach the class room, and find the shade pulled. Gibbs bangs on the door.

"Federal agents open up!"

Within a few seconds a four year old comes to the door. He pulls it wide open. Gibbs looks at the little boy.

"Where did your teacher go?" he questions briefly surveying the room.

"The Marine took her when he saw you guys pull in," the little boy answers.

"You're sure?"

"Yes," he nods.

"Is anyone hurt?"

"No, sir," the little boy answers.

Gibbs turns to his team.

"Tony, Ziva track down the parents see if any of them will let us talk to their children. McGee you're with me."

An hour later they arrive back at NCIS. Ziva takes Max into the conference room.

"None of the parents are allowing us to talk to their children?" Gibbs questions as he enters the squadroom.

"One of the parents did agree. Ziva is in with him right now."

"The little boy who answered the door?" Gibbs questions hopefully.

"Yes. Ziva has him in the conference room, she's waiting on you."

Gibbs exits the room. He jaunts down the hall to the conference room. He pulls the door open, and finds Ziva sitting silently with the boy as he drinks a bottle of water. Gibbs closes the door, and takes a seat on the other side of the boy.

"I don't think we were properly introduced. I'm agent Gibbs," he extends his hand.

The little boy smiles, he shakes his hand firmly, "I'm Max."

"Max what can you tell me about what happened?"

"We were drawing, when the marine stormed in."

"Did he know Miss Patton?"

"I asked her if he was her boyfriend."

"What did she say?"

"She said he was her fiancé."

"Did you get his name?"

"Sergeant Bentley."

"Do you know what his first name was?"

"Charlie. He said that his buddies usually called him Tango."

"Why was he there?"

"He told Miss Patton that she shouldn't have betrayed him, that's when he pulled out the gun."

"Can you tell me anything about the gun?"

"It was black."

"Anything else."

"I think it was a Sig."

"A Sig? How would you know that?"

"I watch a lot of movies," he admits.

Ziva unholsters her weapon, and places it on the table in front of him. "Was it like this one?" she questions.

"Yeah, it was just like that, only a little bigger."

"Bigger how?"

"It was like a boy version of her gun," Max clarifies.

"Thanks Max you've been very helpful," Gibbs rises from his chair.

"Wait, Agent Gibbs, there's more."

Gibbs takes a seat, "What else is there?"

"He said he wanted to take her somewhere special."

"Do you know where?"

"I asked him if he was going to take her to the park."

"And what did he say?"

"He said sort of, but the park he was going to didn't have any swings."

"What was he taking her to do?"

"He said they were going to go on an adventure in the woods."

"Did he say specifically, where?"

"No, just to a park," Max answers.

"Is there anything else you can tell me?" Gibbs questions.

Max nods.

"What's that?" Gibbs replies.

"He was driving a blue SUV."

"Can you tell me what kind?"

"I'm not sure."

"Was it a big SUV?"

"No, wait I have something else," Max digs into his pocket he pulls out a piece of paper. He unfolds it and hands it to Gibbs.

"What's this?" Gibbs inquires.

"I watched him through the window when he left. This was the license plate number on the car he got in to."

"This will really help us out Max. I'll send your parents in to get you. Ziva with me for a minute," he motions from the door.

She steps out of the room. He closes the door.

"Ziva I thought that you said you had parental consent."

"I do."

"Nothing that kid told us is going to mean anything if you didn't go through the proper channels," he scolds.

"I did."

"You know that either a parent, or a child advocate has to be present."

"Gibbs..."

"Where are his parents? Ziva start talking. Now!"


	10. Parental Consent

"You need to get a hold of his parents, and pray that they agree to sign a consent form."

"I don't have to."

"It wasn't a suggestion."

"I mean I don't have to call them."

"I don't see them here."

"They are."

"Where? The only person I see is you."

"I know."

"You know? Ziva what the hell is going on?"

"Max told me that he wanted to talk to you."

"So you thought it would be ok? You didn't take him without the parents knowledge did you? Ziva..."

"No. They know where he is."

"And they're ok with it?"

"I am ok with it," she replies.

"I know that you're ok with it, but I'm asking about his parents."

"Hold on," Ziva holds up her finger. She turns, and opens the door. She looks in the room.

"Max. I need you to come out here please," she motions.

He comes out of the room. She bends down to his level. She looks him in the eyes. "Max give Agent Gibbs your mommy's number so he can talk to her."

"Are you sure?" Max furrows his brow.

"Yeah, go ahead."

Max looks up at Gibbs, "202-555-0183."

"Thanks," Gibbs smiles. He flips open his phone, and dials the number. Ziva's phone rings. Gibbs looks at her in irritation.

"Why did you give me Agent David's number?" he questions Max as he hangs up the phone.

"Agent Gibbs my name is Max David."

"David? You know Ziva?"

"Of course I do, she's my mom."

"Your mom?"

He looks to Ziva, "Ziva this is not funny, it's serious."

Ziva reaches down, and hoists Max onto her hip. He walks away from Gibbs.

"Where are you going?" Gibbs calls after her.

He follows her into the squad room. She stops at McGee's desk.

"I need you to hack into the department of health."

"Why? What am I looking for?"

Gibbs stops at Tony's desk he hands him the piece of paper Max had given him, "Find this vehicle."

"Birth Certificates."

"For when?"

"August seventh, two-thousand and five."

McGee types away. "Name?"

"Maximilian David."

Tim hesitates for a moment, but continues to type, without asking the obvious question. Gibbs looks over McGee's shoulder as he types.

"Here it is," McGee announces.

"Boss the SUV has been spotted in Rock Creek Park."

Gibbs clicks out of the window that Tim is in. He looks at Ziva.

"We will discuss this later. Take Max down stairs to Abby, then meet us in the garage."

"Ok," she nods.

She grabs her bag, and jumps on the elevator. She makes her way into Abby's lab. She places Max on the stainless steel table behind Abby.

"Abby," Ziva interrupts her as she works on the computer.

"Ziva I don't have anything yet."

"I have something for you."

Abby spins around. She points at the little boy, "He is not a caf-pow."

"I'm Max," he smiles.

"Why did you bring me a cute little boy?"

"I need you to watch him."

"Watch him? Where are you going?"

"She's going to go catch a bad guy," Max reveals.

"And why is he with you?"

"Because my preschool closed early today," he answers.

"You go to Silver Maples preschool?" Abby questions.

"Yup," he nods.

"Ziva where are his parents?"

"I've got to go. I don't want Gibbs to leave me. Max behave, do whatever Abby tells you."

"Ok," he reaches out for her. She hugs him and gives him a kiss on the cheek. "Be safe, love you."

"I'll see you soon," she promises as she lets go. She walks out of the room. When the elevator arrives she adds, "Tell Abby what she wants to know."

"Ok."

Abby stares at the little boy sitting on her table. She hears the elevator doors close.

"How old are you Max?"

"Four."

"You seem much older."

"I'm wise beyond my years."

"I can tell."

"You want to know why she kissed me?"

"I am curious."

"She always kisses me before she leaves, even if I'm asleep."

"Always?"

"You don't know either?"

"Know what?"

"She's my mom."

"Your what?"

"Ziva is my mom."

"You're kidding me."

"No," he shakes his head.

"I think you're pulling my leg."

"Do a cheek swab."

"Where did you come up with that?"

"I watch a lot of T.V. when mom isn't home."

"Are you sure about this?"

"Go ahead," Max nods.

Abby swabs his cheek, and runs it through the NCIS database. She quickly gets two hits.

"Max I think that you have fooled my machine. These results can't be right."

He looks at the screen, of the two pictures. "Don't tell Gibbs. I don't think that mommy wants him to know."

"Are you telling me that my results are correct?"

"Yes, ma'am."


	11. Elevator Conversations

They return to NCIS. Tim, and Tony go ahead. Gibbs and Ziva wait for the elevator to return. The elevator doors open, and they step on. Before he can reach for the button, she flips the power off to the elevator.

"Why would you keep this a secret?"

"I knew that you would not understand."

"Ziva!" he grabs her arm, and spins him around to face her.

"I'm sorry," her jaw clenches, and the tears begin to fall.

"I am not looking for an apology, I am looking for an explanation. Why wouldn't you tell anyone that you had a child? Or was that something you just didn't tell me?"

"No, no one knew."

"Why not?"

"I was afraid."

"Afraid of what?"

"I was trying to protect him. I was trying to keep him from the evil in the world. I thought that I was doing what was right."

"As a parent, you don't always get to choose what is right, and what isn't."

"I know that, I have learned the hard way."

"He is four years old Ziva? You were pregnant, and you never told me? You could have put him in danger. Were you thinking about him then? When you didn't mention to me that you were pregnant?"

"I was selfish, I was stupid."

"Yes, you were," he nods in agreement.

"I was afraid that you would think I was making a mistake."

"Even when I do think that, I let you figure out on your own. So, was this a mistake?"

"Not telling everyone, that was a mistake."

"He's four years old. You have four year old son, and maybe you thought by no one knowing about him that you would not put him in danger, but you cannot protect him from everything, no matter how hard you try."

"I know."

"Did you ever think about what would happen to him if something happened to you? There's a rule about it, you know."

"Rule number eight," she recites.

"Yeah, rule number eight. What would have happened if you had never come back from Somalia? Did you think about that? You have put yourself in a lot of dangerous situations."

"I know."

"You can't protect him if you're dead."

"I know that."

"You should have told me."

"I had just started working at NCIS, and I felt the need to prove myself. I was certain that I would not be able to do that if I was pregnant."

Abby's Lab-

"You didn't give him any caf-pow did you?" Tony questions.

Abby spins around, "No."

"Where is he?"

Abby points to the corner of the room. Max is passed out on the futon.

"How long has he been asleep?"

"About half an hour."

"He's a riot, huh?"

"Yeah," Abby nods. She looks at Tony.

"You're being too quiet. I don't like it when you're quiet."

"Tony how long have you known about Max? Ziva not telling everyone, I get that, but I thought that you would know better. I thought that you would talk some sense into her. Max wasn't exactly forthcoming about all the details. He said he didn't entirely understand, and that you could explain better. Can you? Are you going to explain it to me?"

"I'm actually surprised that she never told you," Tony answers.

"That does not answer my question. Wait, why are you surprised, she never told me?"

"She trusts you, without any doubt. You have always been loyal to her. Others have done things that she has questions, but never you."

"Now that I think about it..."

"She did tell you, didn't she?"

"Once I asked her who the love of her life was."

"She said Max?"

"I just figured that it was a guy," she takes a moment to look at the sleeping little boy. She returns her glance to Tony, her eyes regain their fire, "So tell me. How long have you known?"

"I just recently found out," he admits.

"How recently? He's four, so basically all of it is recent."

"Two weeks ago."

"Two weeks ago? You're her partner, I would have thought she would have told you."

"Yeah."

"And you're... I just assumed that you knew. Do you know?"

"That he's my son, yeah, I know."

"How do you feel about that?"

"I was angry that she didn't tell me, but I know she had her reasons. The important thing is that I'm here now, and I'm not going anywhere."

"Good for you. Why didn't you make her tell anyone?"

"I tried. You know Ziva, she takes her good time, with everything."

"Let's just hope the director doesn't find out."

"Why? What have you heard?"

"I haven't heard anything, I just know he'll kill you."

"Probably."

"Does Gibbs know?"

"Yeah, she's talking to him now."

"How did this happen? How did you two wind up with a son? She used your sperm, from a sperm bank?"

"No. It wasn't a clinical procedure," he admits.

Abby's eyes flicker, "When you went undercover. You weren't faking it. It was real."

"Yes."

"I can't believe that she has a kid."

"She's incredible with him. It seems so natural, I never could have imagined."

"You should tell her."

"She knows that she's incredible. She might have been formerly employed as an assassin, but she's just as amazing, if not more, at doing this."

"That's not what I meant," Abby clarifies.

"I don't understand."

"It took four years for her to tell you that the two of you have a son. I'm guessing it kind of came out."

"She was waiting for the right moment."

"She did the right thing, by not waiting for the right moment. You shouldn't wait either. The right moment may, or may not come. I know that when it does, it will be too late. Just because you share a child with her, does not mean you have claim to her heart. If you want that, you need to plant a flag, so to speak."

"Poor choice of words," he smiles.

"Get your mind out of the gutter, their is a child in the room. Tony she may have a son, and he is yours. She may not be involved with anyone right now, but she isn't going to spend forever waiting for you. You may be Max's father, but every mother wants her child to have a family, and... if you aren't careful it might not include you," she warns.


	12. His Mistakes

Max begins to stir. He opens his eyes, and sees Tony. He sits up, and smiles.

"Hi," he waves.

"How was your nap?" Tony questions.

"Daddy, where's mommy?"

"She's talking to Agent Gibbs."

Max gets up. He walks over to Tony. He wraps himself around his leg.

"Hey, what gives?" Tony inquires.

"I had a bad dream."

"Another Halloween dream?"

"Halloween? You let him watch Halloween?" Abby queries.

"Not my finest moment. In my defense, I am new to this," Tony replies.

"It wasn't about Halloween," Max admits.

Tony lifts him onto the stainless steel work table. He leans against the table, trying to get down to Max's level.

"Tell me about it."

"It was sad."

"What happened?"

"I had a dream about you getting shot."

"That isn't going to happen," Tony reassures him.

"What if it did? What if you die?"

"Maximilian, I am not going anywhere. I will not leave you."

"Mommy says that too."

"Don't you believe her?"

"Sometimes."

"Max your mom loves you so much. She's not going to do anything that would take her away from you."

"You catch bad guys for a living, what if one day, they catch you?"

"That won't happen. We love you too much to leave you," Tony answer.

The four year old shakes his head, not satisfied, "You're not superman."

"Superdad?"

Max frowns, "Even you can't stop a bullet."

Abby interjects, "Before you fell asleep you were telling me that you were hungry."

"Yeah," Max nods.

"If you promise not to tell your mom, we can go get a candy bar," Tony offers.

"Ok," Max agrees.

Elevator:

"There are things you shouldn't have done," Gibbs answers.

"I know that."

"Why did you think that this would be ok to hide? I don't understand that. Please explain it."

"Before I had Max, I always saw children as a weakness, as a vulnerability. I was afraid that others would see that too. I was afraid..."

"Someone might see you as human. You were afraid you would see that you are not invincible, reflected in their eyes."

"Yes."

"Why do you have such a hard time just feeling how you feel? Just feel whatever you want. It's ok."

"I spent most of my life seeing that as a weakness too."

"Forget about what you thought in the past. Live in the present. Let the rest of it go."

"Like you have?"

"I'm not saying that I have."

"You carry everything around with you, but you never let anyone see. You're lecturing me, but face it, you do the same."

"I don't want you to make the same mistakes that I have made," he snarls.

"How will I ever learn anything if I don't make my own mistakes? You have made mistakes, but you are the most capable person I know."

"And along the way I have lost everything. I spent so much time chasing the bad guys that I missed out on the things that mattered most. I might not be able to get that back, but you can preserve what you have. If you love someone like that, you hold on to it. Don't let it go. Don't take it for granted. Your son is going to grow up, and he's going to wonder why you missed his first ball game. He's going to ask you if your work will be enough to fulfill you when you are old, and alone. He's going to ask why you missed out on things he needed you to be at. You have to answer that."

"How?" the tears run down her face, "I love this job. I love Max more, but... I don't know how to do anything, but this."

"So you better come up with a damn good answer."

"Ok."

"So are you going to tell me the rest of the story?"

"The rest of the story?"

"About his father?"

"Does it matter who he is?"

"Just tell me the truth. I am sick of everyone trying to hide everything from me. Answer me!"

"You will not like it."

"I do not like that you felt the need the fact that you had a son from me. It isn't like he's mine, so why wouldn't you tell me?"

"Five years ago, I was not the same person that I am now. I did not know that I could count on you. I did not know that you would have my back no matter what. I was used to being betrayed, to having to fend for myself."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because of who he is."

"Who Max is?"

"Who his father is," she wipes away tears.

"Who? Who is his father?"

"I have broken more than just rule number eight."

"Rule number twelve?"

"Yes," she nods shamefully.

"I figured that after Paris you had."

"I broke rule number twelve the first time I went undercover."

"With DiNozzo?"

"Yes," she swallows.

"So Tony is the father?"

"Yes," she nods.

"Here's a new rule for you."

"A new rule?"

"Rule number fifty one, sometimes you're wrong."

"Wrong about what?"

"You thought that you would feel nothing, right? When you went undercover with Tony?"

"Yes."

"And you were wrong. You should let him know."

"What if..."

"Don't worry about getting hurt. You always hurt if you don't find out."

"How do you know?"

"If you love someone, you have to tell them."

"Is that a rule?"

He shakes his head, "Just common sense."

"You couldn't have saved her. Even if she knew."

"I know, but I still should have told her."


	13. It's You

Ziva and Gibbs get off the elevator, and walk into the squad room. Max sits on Tony's desk as he works on paperwork.

"DiNozzo, David?" Gibbs turns, and stares at them.

"Yes, boss?" Tony waits for the fall out.

"Take the boy to get something to eat. He's been here for hours, I'm sure that he's hungry," he demands.

"Ok," Tony nods.

Ziva hesitates at her desk. Gibbs looks up at her. "Was I not clear? I meant both of you. Go, now!" he insists.

They grab their stuff, and head to the elevator. Max holds onto Ziva. Without a word from him, she knows what he wants. She picks him up. He rests his head on her shoulder. Ziva's nostrils flare.

"Max, you smell like chocolate."

"He let me have a candy bar."

"Way to sell me out."

"I am not supposed to lie. So can we have pizza for dinner?" He looks at Tony.

"You should ask your mom," Tony replies artfully.

"Mom can we have pizza for dinner?"

"Yes," she nods.

Hours later she finds her arm falling asleep. She sits on the couch, with Tony on the other end. Max's head lays on her lap, and his feet rest on Tony's. Tony looks at his watch.

"How do we move him, without waking him up? My leg is falling asleep."

"He is a rather sound sleeper, he gets that from you."

"Ziva?"

"Yes?"

"I never pictured doing this, with you."

"Doing what?"

"Having a child."

"This is not exactly what I pictured either."

"You have to admit we made a pretty handsome boy."

"And smart too," she adds.

"He's something. I can't believe that he really belongs to me."

"Why not?"

"He's too cute. And he looks a lot like you."

"He's got your smile, and your sense of humor."

"Ziva...I want more..."

"More what? The pizza is gone."

"Not pizza. I want more than this. I hate going home, knowing that the two of you are here."

"Where else would we be?"

"What I am trying to say is... I am his father, and you are his mother. I know that we agreed to work this out, to share him, but..." he trails off.

"But what?"

"I don't want to have to share you."

"Share me? I do not understand."

"I mean I can share you with Max, that is not problem but... I don't want to share you with anyone else."

"I do not understand."

"You want Max to have a family."

"That is no secret."

"You deserve to be happy. You deserve to be with someone who loves you. I'm just afraid that if I'm not careful, it won't be me."

She stares at him, speechless.

"Ziva I love Max, but I love you too. I guess that it is selfish on my part, to expect that you would be willing to pick me. I just, I can't stand the thought of some other guy tucking my son in to bed each night. I can't stand thinking about waking up every morning, without you by my side. Seeing you with him, it makes me realize that the two of you, are all that I want."

"Tony..."

"Let me finish, please. I won't fault you, for wanting to be happy. I know that you are going to find someone who makes you happy. You are going to find someone who you want to spend the rest of your life with, but I need you to know that I want it to be me."

"I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I have already found that person."

His heart sinks, "Oh, I see."

"Do you know how difficult it is to date with sixty hour work weeks, and a four year old, at home?"

"No, I've never tried."

"It is impossible," she admits, "No one really wants to commit to someone with a kid. Once men find out that I have a son, they seem to lose all interest."

"You found someone who didn't?"

"Yes. He's great. He loves Max, he is great with him. I could not have chosen someone better."

"Do I get to meet him."

She laughs.

"Why don't you go put him in bed, and then I'll answer that."

He nods, "Ok." He slides Max's feet off him. He moves towards Ziva's end of the couch. He squats next to Max. He whispers softly, "Hey buddy, time for bed." Max rolls over, and wraps his arms around Tony. Tony slides the boy off the couch, and carries him into his room. He pulls back his superhero bedspread, and sheets. He places Max in his bed. He pulls the covers over his sleepy son. He kisses his forehead, "Night buddy." Max's eyes pop open.

"I thought you were asleep."

"I was faking," Max admits.

"Go to sleep."

"Wait."

"What?"

"It's you, silly."

"What is me?"

"Night," Max rolls over with a smile on this face, and closes his eyes.

Ziva quickly leaves the doorway, and returns to the couch. Tony turns, and leaves Max's room. He finds Ziva on the couch, waiting for him. He takes a seat next to her.

"So are you going to tell me who the mystery man is?"

"I said that I would, didn't I?"

"You say a lot of things."


	14. In The Past

"So, who is it?"

She places her hand on his face. She smiles devilishly. "It's you."

"Me?"

"Yes," she nods.

"Abby said that I should tell you, because you wouldn't wait forever."

"She was half right."

"Half right?"

"You should have told me, a long time ago. I've been waiting. I have gotten much more patient, since I had Max. I think that I could have waited forever."

"Why didn't you say so?"

"I thought that it was obvious."

"How?"

"I had your child."

"Are you saying that if he had been anyone else's you would have decided differently?"

She shrugs, "I can't say, but I know that the decision would not have been reached, quite as easily."

"You never told me, about the day that you found out."

"I try not to relive it. It was a rather difficult day."

"Tell me."

"It was the day after New Year's. I felt hungover, but I hadn't had anything to drink, in weeks. I was too busy at work have the time."

_January 2nd 2006,_

_ She opens her eyes. The clock reads 513. She usually woke up at 530, to go for a run, before work. This morning was different. A wave of nausea hits her. She throws back the covers, and jumps out of bed. She races to the bathroom. She hits her knees, and pushes the lid of the toilet open. She rockets forward, grabbing her hair out of her face, just before getting sick. A few minutes later the nausea seems to disappear. She stands up, feeling a little light headed. She swishes, and brushes her teeth, twice. What was going on? She had been feeling nauseous for the past few weeks, but this was the first time she got sick. She never threw up. The last time she had thrown up she was... fourteen. She looks at herself in the mirror. She looks unusually pale. The dark circles under her eyes remind her of the sleepless nights. What was wrong with her? She closes the lid on the toilet, and sits on top of it. She rubs the sleep from her eyes, and tries to figure out what is wrong with her. She comes up with nothing. _

_ She goes to the bathroom counter, and opens the medicine cabinet. She searches for something to settle her stomach, but finds nothing. She closes it. A light bulb goes off in her head, and she re-opens the cabinet up. She stares at the middle shelf. A box of unopened tampons stares back at her. Her brain kicks into panic mode. She tries to come up with a date. She races into her closet, and grabs out some clothes. She wasn't going for a run this morning. At least she didn't have to be at work today. She leaves the apartment. _

_ Half an hour later she gets into the shower, trying to erase the thought from her mind. When she finishes she grabs her towel, and steps out of the shower. She swallows hard, and approaches the counter. A little plastic stick waits on her. She stares at it blankly. One word stares back at her. Who had come up with a digital read out? There was no denial, with those. She takes a seat on the lid of the toilet. She begins to cry. _

_"How did I let this happen?" she asks herself out loud. "I can't believe this. Tony is going to kill me..." she trails off. "No, I can't tell him. I will do this, on my own," she decides. "He never has to know. This was my fault." She stares at the plastic stick in her hand, telling her that her whole life is about to change. "Pregnant," she says quietly, to herself. "I'm pregnant. I am..." she stops. It hits her, hard. She takes a deep breath, "I am having a baby."_

Tony looks at her.

"You had to be scared out of your mind. You should have told me."

"I thought that telling you would just make things worse. I had already made up my mind, and I didn't want you complicating things."

"There was never a doubt? That you would have him?"

"No, not for a second. I was so afraid, I could barely admit the truth to myself. I knew that I couldn't tell you. I knew that you would freak out, and then, I did not feel as if I knew you well enough to have a child with you."

"You should have told me."

"Not telling you, that is my biggest regret."

"I missed so much. His birth, his first smile, first word, first step."

"I know, and you will never know how truly sorry I am for that."

"I just wish that I could turn back time..."

"I cannot turn back time, but... I would like to try to make it up to you."

"How? You're going to have another baby, so I don't miss out on..."

She shakes her head, and cuts him off, "No."

"So how are you going to make it up to me?"

"I have it all on video. Believe it or not, you are not the only one who missed out on things. I was at work the day he took his first step."

He thinks back, "Your apartment, the explosion..."

"Up until recently I kept it in a safe deposit box."

"Why did you take it out?"

"When I mentioned it to Max... he insisted on watching it. I have all of his firsts on film. Well, his first smile, that is just a picture, but the rest, is on film. The first time he rolled over, first time he crawled, first tooth, first word, first step, all of his birthdays, his first day of school. I have it all."

"The day he was born?"

"I've got that too, but..."

"But what?"

"I don't like watching it."

"Why not?"

"Because I look terrible."

"So?"

"You don't understand."

"Let's watch it."

"You can watch it, at your place."

"Why?"

"It's too graphic for Max."

"Because of his birth scene?"

"Because of all of the swearing. I counted once, I managed to swear in six languages, in four minutes."

"It hurts that much?"

"He was a big baby, and... I did not have any kind of pain medication."

He smiles, "Of course you didn't."


	15. The Son Always Shines In The Morning

_August 7th 2006,_

_She stares at the chubby baby swaddled in her arms. He stares up at her, quietly. She had never believed in love at first sight, but now she did. The little boy stares up at her with big, bright eyes. She smiles, and touches his cheek with the back of her index finger._

_"Welcome to the world handsome boy." He locks eyes with her. "What do you think so far, Maximilian?"_

_The newborn yawns. The camera moves, a nurse comes out from behind it. She approaches Ziva, and smiles._

_"I need to take him back to the nursery now. The pediatrician will be making rounds soon."_

_"Ok," Ziva agrees reluctantly. She kisses the baby on the cheek, and surrenders him to the nurse. The nurse places the baby in the basinet, and wheels him away._

The DVD returns to the main menu. He turns to look at her. Her eyes are closed.

"You asleep?" he questions.

Her eyes open, "No."

"So why are your eyes closed?"

"I don't know," she shrugs.

"Ziva?"

"Yes?"

"Can I stay?"

"If you want to," she agrees.

"Can I have the Batman blanket?" he questions, pointing to the folded blanket on the arm of the couch, behind her head.

She smiles, "No."

"No? That is rude."

"You are too old to sleep with Batman."

"Who else am I going to sleep with?"

"I guess, you'll just have to figure that out," she teases as she walks towards her bedroom.

She tries to roll, over, but realizes that there is nowhere to roll. She lies on the edge of the bed. Rolling that way would only land her on the floor. And rolling the other way would land her on top of the body next to her. A pair of feet rest against her calves. She listens to the noises around her. She hears the ceiling fan, over head. Next to her she hears light snoring. She hears a heavier snoring, coming from the other side of the bed. She is tangled in covers, and incredibly hot. She feels as if she's going to suffocate, even though she knows that the fan is going at full blast. She opens her eyes.

She looks at the clock on the stand next to her. It tells her that she has twenty minutes before she needs to be up. She reaches behind her. She feels a small body, next to her. She whispers, "Max, scoot over." He groans at the sound of her voice, but rolls away from her. She scoots off the edge of the bed, and rolls onto her other side. She stares at the scene before her. It was no wonder she was burning up. There were two people in her bed, radiating heat. Max lays in the center of the bed, on top of the covers. Next to him a man snoring like a buzz-saw sleeps. She yawns, and closes her eyes, knowing that the alarm will go off before she falls back to sleep.

When she opens her eyes she finds a pair of eyes staring at her. His knees are on either side of her chest. He smiles devilishly.

"What are you doing?" she questions him.

He bends forward, planting a kiss on her cheek. "Morning mommy."

"Morning," she greets him. She looks at the clock. It would buzz in less than a minute. She flips it off.

"Off please."

He jumps off, onto the floor. She untangles the covers and slowly sits up. Her feet dangle over the side of the bed. Max stands before her, just looking at her.

"What are you thinking?" she asks him.

"Can I wake him up?"

"That is all you are thinking?"

"Why is he in here? Asleep with you?"

"The couch isn't very comfortable," she answers.

"Mommy?"

"Yes, Max?"

"Is he going to stay with us every night?"

"Do you want him to?"

"I don't know," he shrugs.

"Max that is a question that you need to ask him."

"Why?"

"Because I don't know the answer," she plants her feet on the ground. He doesn't move. He hugs her side.

"Why are you being clingy?"

"I miss you. You spend too much time at work."

She feels pangs of guilt as he looks up at her, with big, sleepy eyes. She reaches down, and lifts him up. He hugs her neck. She plants her lips on his forehead. She brushes hair out of his face.

"I think that it is time for a haircut."

"Mommy, do you have to go to work today?"

"Yes Maximilian, you know that I do."

"Why can't you just stay home with me?"

"Because you cost money, and I have to have a job to make money."

"Ben's mommy stays home with him, and his daddy goes to work."

"Max..."

"I know, it's not the same."

"Max I love you."

"But you love your job too."

"I love you more," she reminds him.

"Mommy?"

"Yes, Max?"

"Are you going to go for a run this morning?"

"Why, do you want to go?" she smiles.

"You run way too fast. My legs aren't as long as yours."

"Why are you asking?"

"Because if you are then he could stay here with me, and Miss Bennett wouldn't have to come over."

"I am not going for a run this morning. I am going to go take a shower."

"What am I going to do while you're in the shower. I'm wide awake."

"Wake him up," she points to Tony.

"Ok," he smiles.

She places him on the bed, and heads into her closet. When she returns to the room. She finds Max where she left him.

"You're thinking about the best way to wake him up?"

"Can I jump on the bed?"

"Yes, just this once."

He smiles as she flips off the ceiling fan, and disappears into the bathroom.


	16. Woman Troubles

He feels the bed bouncing underneath him. He begins to wake up, and hears giggling. Before he can open his eyes he feels the wind being knocked out of him. When he finally opens his eyes he finds Max sitting on his chest.

"Morning," Max smiles.

"What time is it?" he questions, instantly realizing that Max probably couldn't answer that question. Max glances at the clock.

"It is five thirty eight," he answers.

Tony looks past him, towards the other side of the room. The clock tells him, that Max is right.

"I didn't know that you could tell time."

"It's a digital clock," Max reminds him.

"Right," Tony nods.

"So, what are we going to do?"

"What do you mean?"

"Mommy is in the shower."

"Why don't we make her breakfast?"

"Nothing messy," Max warns.

"Why not?"

"Because she hates when I make messes."

"I'll clean my mess up. What is her favorite?"

"Pancakes."

"Pancakes are your favorite," Tony comments.

"Blueberry muffins."

"I guess we can go get muffins."

"There is a muffin mix in the cabinet."

Tony sits up, after Max gets off his chest. He climbs out of bed, and throws Max over his shoulder.

"Hey I'm upside down," Max exclaims as Tony carries him out of the room.

"I hear a little voice, but where is it coming from?"

"Hey! Put me down!" Max insists.

Tony places him on the kitchen counter.

"Which cabinet?"

Max points to a cabinet. Tony removes the necessary ingredients from the refrigerator. Max pulls up a bowl. Tony pours the ingredients into the bowl, and hands Max a wooden spoon.

"You stir."

Tony turns on the oven, and finds a muffin pan.

"Why aren't you and mommy married?"

"Why do you ask?" he questions, approaching the situation carefully.

"Aren't mommies and daddies supposed to be married?"

"That isn't always how things work out."

"Why not?"

"Your mom is kind of impatient. She doesn't like waiting for things. She didn't want to wait for you."

"I was an accident."

"An accident? What makes you think that?"

"You didn't plan on having me, did you?"

"Max..."

"It's ok."

"We didn't plan on having you. We never discussed it, it just happened. That's why I just found out about you."

"I still think you guys should be married."

"Why?"

"So you can stay here every night."

"Is that what you want?"

"Mommies and daddies should be together, don't you think?"

"I can't argue with that."

"So just get married. I guess you don't have to get married. You could just move in."

"Max..."

"Please?"

"Maximilian sometimes you have to wait for the things that you want." Tony places the muffins in the oven.

"Why? You can have what you want right now. Then everyone is happy."

"Max, it isn't that simple."

"Why not? Why do grown ups make everything so complicated?"

"Do you really think that your mom would let me move in?"

"I don't know, I haven't asked, that is your job."

"Max I can't just ask her that."

"You love her, she loves you, why can't you ask her?"

"Max we work together..."

Max cuts him off, "Gibbs wouldn't like it if you broke rule number twelve. Some rules are just stupid."

"Rules are there as guidelines."

"You break other rules, why not that one?"

"Max, you're pushing it."

"Where do babies come from?"

"Why what have you heard?"

"I'm just wondering because, I don't think that it's something you are supposed to do, with the person that you're working with, is it?"

"No."

"You broke that rule, why not rule number twelve?"

"I guess you have a point. How did you get to be so smart?"

"I watch a lot of TV."

"I don't think that's it."

"Mommy reads to me a lot. Even when I am tired of it."

"Why do you get tired of it?"

"Because she doesn't let me watch very much T.V. when she's home. She says that it's going to melt my brain. She tries to bribe me."

"You don't even know what that means."

"For every page we read, I can watch one minute of T.V., when she's home."

"I am guessing that you pick the shortest books then?"

"She caught on to that. Doctor Suess was banned a long time ago. Now we read long books, with chapters, and chapters in them."

"How are your girlfriends, doing?"

"I don't think that you should worry about that."

Tony laughs, "And why not?"

"You have woman troubles of your own."

Tony laughs even harder.


	17. Rule 52

He runs up to Agent Gibbs desk. He smiles, from ear to ear.

"Max, what are you doing here?"

"I came by to say hi."

"Your mom, and... dad, they're not here right now, buddy."

"That's ok. I came to see you."

"Who brought you here?"

"The nanny."

"What did you come here to see me about?"

"The rules."

"What rules?"

"Your rules."

"My rules? One in particular?"

"Rule twelve."

"Ah, I see. What bothers you about rule twelve?"

"Mommies, and daddies are supposed to be together."

"I agree."

"So fix it."

"How do you propose I do that?"

He smiles, "Make a new rule."

"A new rule. What should it say?"

"Um... let me think."

"While you're thinking, can I ask you a question."

"Of course."

"You know that sometimes mommies, and daddies don't stay together. What happens then?"

"I hadn't thought of that. I guess I just thought they'd be together forever, but you're right, this is real life, not a fairytale."

"So tell me, what happens?"

"It just has to work, cause... I said so."

"I see. You are pretty convincing."

"How many rules are there?"

"Fifty one."

"So this would be rule fifty two?"

"Yeah, I suppose. Did you come up with one?"

"Will you write it down? Mommy says my handwriting is like daddy's."

"Chicken scratch?"

"Yup."

Gibbs pulls out a post-it note, and an ink pen. He waits for Max to begin.

The little boy smiles, "When you find the truth, don't let it get away," he recites.

"That's a good rule. Maybe you should make some of your own."

"I know what my first rule would be."

Gibbs writes down the rule. "What's that?"

"Sunday is for capes."

"Capes?"

"The day to wear your cape."

Gibbs smiles. "I'll try to remember that."

Max points to the post-it note. "Can I have that?"

"Yep, I've got it stored, up here," he points to his head, with his index finger.

"Thanks, Gibbs."

"Anytime, Max."

Max scampers off.

Hours later, when Ziva arrives home she finds Max, in bed, asleep. His lamp is still on, beside him. She kisses him, and reaches over to turn it off. She finds a post-it note on the lamp shade. She peels it off, and turns off the lamp. She heads into her room, and turns on her light. She reads the post-it, note, and realizes that it's in Gibbs handwriting.

She picks up the phone, and dials a familiar number. After two rings the party on the other end answers.

"Hello?"

"I think that you might need to have a discussion with your son."

"Why? What did he do now?"

"He got Gibbs to write a new rule."

"How do you know?"

"Because I found the post-it note, in his room."

"How do you know that Gibbs wrote it?"

"It's in his handwriting."

"What makes you think that Max made him write it?"

"He was going on about rule number twelve before I dropped him off at school."

"He thinks that it's a stupid rule."

"And knowing him, he probably wanted to find a way around it."

"So what does it say?"

"When you find the truth, don't let it get away," she reads to him.

"That's a good rule. You think that Gibbs wrote it for us?"

"I don't know," she shrugs.

"I guess we'll find out in the morning."

The following morning, they find themselves anxiously awaiting Gibbs arrival. Tony spots him first.

"Did you write a rule for us?"

"I did write a new rule," Gibbs reveals.

"For us?" Ziva questions.

"It was really for Max."

"So he did ask you to make a new rule?"

"Yes," Gibbs admits.

"What does it mean?" Tony furrows his brow.

"I'm not the one you should be asking."

"Who should we ask?" Ziva inquires.

"Your son, he's the one who came up with it, I just wrote it down."

"Max came up with this?" Tony quizzes in disbelief.

"Yeah. He came up with one of his own, too."

"One of his own?"

"Sunday is for capes."

"Capes?" Tony queries.

"The day to wear capes," Ziva clarifies.


	18. Wagers

Tony smiles as Max hops into the car.

"How was your day at school?"

"Why are you picking me up from school? Where is mommy?"

"Answer my question first."

"It was fine. Now answer my question, it's more important."

"Your mommy is still working."

"Why aren't you working?"

"I thought that I could spend some time with you."

"I don't want to spend time with you."

"That's a little harsh Max."

"You should be with mommy."

"I don't have to spend all of my time with your mommy."

"But you should."

"Max, don't push it."

"Please."

"Why? Did you do something you don't want her to know about?"

"No."

"So why do you want me to go back to work, and spend time with her?"

"When you like a girl, you spend all of your time with them."

"That's not true Max."

"You share some of the things you like with her. You try to be really good friends with her, and if you're lucky she'll kiss you."

"Max..."

"When was the last time you kissed mommy?"

"Why does it matter?"

"I want to know."

"Max, I am not going to answer that."

"Is she a bad kisser?"

"No, Max I am not having this discussion with you, again."

"Again? This is the first time that I've talked about kissing mommy, with you."

"You're always trying to push us to be together."

"Cause you should be."Maybe if you gave us a chance, we would be."

"A chance? When? You never take any chances."

"What do you mean?"

"If you like her you should date her."

"Date her? Why would I date her? I already know everything there is to know about her. That is the purpose of dating."

"No, you're supposed to make her feel special."

"How?"

"Take her to a nice dinner, and get dressed up, you tell her how pretty she looks. You take her somewhere she likes. You listen to her, even when she's saying boring stuff, and you laugh at her jokes. And then maybe if you're lucky, when dinner is over you'll get a kiss."

"You've been watching too many movies."

"That is how it works."

"Max you're four, you don't know how it works."

"I do so."

"How many girls have you kissed?"

"Three."

"Three?"

"Yep," he nods, "That's more girls than you've kissed lately."

"You remind me so much of myself, sometimes, that it's irritating."

"Don't you like you?"

"Yes, but..."

"But what?"

"Never mind."

"I have a great idea, why don't you make her dinner? I can go over and stay with Joey, and you can make her a nice dinner. And you could use candles, and..."

"Max how much T.V. do you watch?"

"As much as I can, when mommy isn't around."

"Max..."

"Please? If you take her on a date, I'll leave you alone."

"Will you really stop pestering me, if I take her on a date."

"I'll leave you alone for a week," he promises.

"A month," Tony counters.

Max smiles devilishly, "If you can get her to kiss you, for real, not for pretend."

"Deal."

"And if you can't get her to kiss you then..."

"Then what?"

"Then you have to go on a date every weekend, until you can get her to kiss you."

"You are a shyster."

"What's that?"

"It's kind of like a con-artist."

"Oh, like Frank Abagnale in _Catch Me If You Can_?"

"Yes. I think that I am going to convince your mom to get rid of her T.V."

"Why would you do that?"

"So you could be four, instead of twenty four."

"I am not twenty four."

"No, but you sure do act like you are."

"Please?"

"What's in this for me, exactly?"

"You get to kiss mommy."

"And that is my prize?"

"Yeah, don't you want to kiss her? Is she a bad kisser?"

"Did I say that?"

"You sound disappointed."

"She isn't going to be happy that she is the prize to our wager."

"She doesn't have to know."

"And if she finds out, you're taking all the blame."

"You're the adult," Max points out.

"It was your idea."

"Yeah, but I'm a kid. And I'm cute. She can't resist my cute face."

"Give me your best cute face."

Max smiles at him. Tony checks out the face in the rearview mirror, "I make a face that cute, and she doesn't seem to be affected by it," Tony points out.

"Yeah, but she likes me better. She has to, she gave birth to me."

"She likes you better?"

"Of course she does. She lives with me, she has to like me."

"She has to live with you, you're her kid. She works with me, and she hasn't shot me yet."

"Only because she doesn't have any other choice."

"I think that you should put your money where your mouth is," Tony suggests.

"I don't have any money."

"Ok, how about this, if you win I'll let you eat ice cream for dinner, for a week."

"And if you win?"

"I get to keep your Batman blanket, to sleep with, for a week."

"Why would you want my blanket?"

"Because it's cool."

"That's not why. You just like it cause it smells like mommy."

"And you like it because it's cool?"

"Touché."

"Did you really just say that?"

Max giggles, from the backseat.


	19. Disaster Zone

"You have to go on a date with me," he informs her, as he walks into the squad room, stopping in front of her desk.

"Excuse me?"

"Will you go on a date with me?"

"Are you asking, or telling?"

"I need you to go on a date with me."

"Why?"

"Because it's the only way to get Max to shut up."

"There are other ways."

"I promised him that I would."

"Why would you promise him something like that?"

"Because you hate breaking promises to him."

"This feels like a trick."

"We may have a bet going."

"A bet? You are teaching my four year old to bet?"

"He already knows how to bet, I just came up with the wager."

"Which is what?"

"Unimportant."

"And the bet?"

"I'll tell you later."

"I want to know."

"It won't work, if you know."

"Where are we going?"

"I can't tell you that."

"Where will Max be?"

"Ask him."

"Can you tell me anything?"

"You should wear something nice, and I'll pick you up at eight."

"I don't like this."

Gibbs comes into the room, "Neither do I, but how can your resist his cute face?"

"Aw thanks boss," Tony smiles.

"I meant Max."

"Max? Have you talked to him?" Tony questions.

"Yep, he told me all about your bet."

"Why would he do that?"

"Because he wants to stay with me, so the two of you can go on a date."

"Why would he involve you?"

"Because I make the rules, and he comes up with ways around them."

"He's one clever kid."

"Yep."

"Don't let him watch anything scary," Tony warns.

"I don't have cable," he reminds him.

"Poor kid, doesn't know what he's getting himself into."

"Poor kid? Tony, if she," he points to Ziva, "finds out what your bet is, you'll be the only one who is in trouble. Ziva if you kill him, don't leave any evidence behind. I don't want to have to put you behind bars."

"It's that bad?" she questions.

He just smiles, shrugs, and walks away.

1915

"What are the three of you still doing here? We can't do anymore tonight. Go home," Gibbs barks.

"Home? I think Tony, and Ziva have somewhere else they have to go."

"That's right," he smirks.

Ziva climbs into Tony's car. She pulls on her seat belt, and crosses her arms across her chest.

"I got the same response from Max when I told him I was not going to buy him a Nintendo DS."

"Where are we going?"

"Don't be so bitter."

"I am not bitter, I am just tired."

"We're going to get something to eat."

"Where?"

"Why are you being so cranky?"

"I am just... I want to go home."

"Max isn't there."

"I know."

"I have an idea. Why don't we stop for Chinese, and we'll take it back to your place?"

"My place is a disaster. Max decided to play with his army men in the living room."

"He didn't pick them up?"

"He told me that he needed to leave them."

"Why?"

"Because when there is an explosion not all of the bodies are collected immediately."

"Huh?"

"He got all of them in formation, and then the ones in the front stepped on something, I think he used a piece of floss. It was what triggered the explosion. So of course he picked up all of them, and threw them up into the air."

"And you let him?"

"I was brushing my teeth. I cannot watch him every minute of every day."

"Where did he get that idea?"

"Where does he get all of his ideas?"

"T.V. I really think you should get rid of it."

"That isn't fair."

"He's four, he'll get over it."

"I meant to me. I do occasionally like to watch T.V."

"Call the Chinese place, we'll go back to my place."

"And then what?"

"We'll eat, and watch a movie. We'll fall asleep on the couch, and then wake up when the alarm on my phone goes off, and head back to work."

"Sounds..."

"Uneventful."

They arrive at his place, with bags of take out. She makes a beeline for the couch. He stops in the kitchen for some drinks. He tosses her a bottle of water. He takes the seat next to her. She scrutinizes his bottle.

"What?"

"You're drinking water?"

"Did you want something else?"

"No, water is fine. I just expected that you would have a beer, I guess."

"There isn't any."

"Oh."

"So what movie are we going to watch?"

He gets off the couch, and opens the DVD player. He looks at the disc inside, then he looks at her.

"What did you do?"

"I may know where Max came up with the idea."

"What do you mean?"

"He fell asleep on the couch, and I put in a movie and... he must have woken up."

"What movie?"

"The A-Team."


	20. Not Gonna Talk About Him

"I know that you aren't going to tell me what your bet was, but will you at least tell me what your wager was?"

"I bet Max his batman blanket."

"His batman blanket? Does that mean if you win you are going to keep him here, with you?"

"No, why?"

"Because he can't sleep without his batman blanket."

"I've seen him sleep without it."

"He can't sleep without it in the apartment."

"You can't be serious."

"Do you really want to test that theory?"

"Ziva?"

"What?"

"Our son is..."

"A nut?"

"Yes."

"The apple doesn't fall far from the tree."

"What does that mean?"

"That is the expression, isn't it?"

"Yes. Are you implying that he's like me?"

"Yes."

"He's like you too."

"How?"

"I don't have photographic memory. He does. He gets that from you."

"What are we supposed to do on our date?"

"I don't think we're supposed to talk about him."

"Is that even possible?"

"We can talk about other things."

"That don't relate to Max?"

"Yes," he nods.

"Like what exactly?"

"I can't think of anything that doesn't involve, or relate to him in some way."

"So what would you like to talk about?"

"Why don't you talk?"

"Because you are the one who likes to talk."

"I think that it's your turn."

"What do you want me to talk about?"

"Whatever you want."

"Why are we doing this?"

"Doing what?"

"Going on a date?"

"Because I'm trying to keep a promise to our son."

"So you don't have an ulterior motive?"

"Like what?"

"I can think of a few things."

"No, nothing like that."

"Why not? Are you afraid that history will repeat itself?"

"I'm not afraid of that."

"Really?""Are you?"

She shakes her head, "No."

"So why did you bring it up?"

"I don't know," she shrugs.

"Ziva it's time to talk about all of this."

"Talk about what?"

"Were you really afraid that I was going to be too immature to handle being a parent?"

She looks at him, and takes a deep breath. She exhales, and shakes her head. "Not entirely."

"Not entirely."

"I was more afraid that you would do what you always do."

"And what's that?"

"The complete opposite of what I expect."

"What were you afraid that I would do?"

"I was afraid that if I told you, you would want to take him from me. I was afraid that you would be angry, and you wouldn't be able to see past how angry you were at me, to see that he needs the both of us."

"You thought I would try to keep him away from you?"

"Yes."

"Why would you think that?"

"Because of some of the bad choices that I've made."

"I would never take him from you. You are his mother."

"You're really telling me that if you had known about him, when I was involved with Michael, you wouldn't have tried to take him away from me?"

He doesn't pause to think. He answers instantly, "Yes. I would have."

"And that is why I didn't tell you."

"You have the right to date whoever you want. You can sleep with whoever you want. I don't care."

"Yes you do."

"The instant you drag my son into it, it is an entirely different story."

"You were upset about the situation, even when you didn't know."

"Because I wanted to protect you."

"Why? Why do you feel the need to protect me? I am your partner. Why do you feel like you have to protect me, from things in my personal life?"

"I guess it's because I feel like you're mine."

"Yours? I am not a possession. You do not own me."

"That isn't what I meant."

"What did you mean?"

"You're my partner. You're the mother of my child. I... I just feel like you should be mine."

"What are you saying?"

"I wish that you were."

"Wish that I was, what?"

"Mine, and only mine. I wish that we didn't have to share Max. I wish..." he trails off.


	21. Right Where I Need To Be

"I don't want to share custody of Max with you. I don't want to share you with anyone. I am sorry that I am jealous. I'm sorry that I'm possessive. I just... I hate to see you hurt. I never want to see you hurt. I just want to..."

"Want to what?"

"I just want to love you."

"Oh," she leans back in her seat.

"I want to be with you. I have, ever since we went undercover. That night... I felt like you were the one. The only one. At first I thought that it was just because of the sex, but it wasn't. I could never get you out of my head."

"You think that I could? Tony I barely knew you, and I found out that I was pregnant, with your child. I agonized over what the right decision was. I didn't know if I should tell you or not, because I didn't know you well enough. And then there was Jeanne. You were in love with her, and I was not going to make you choose. I didn't want you to feel obligated to me, or to Max. I just wanted you to be happy, that is what you deserve."

"You make me happy."

"I make you happy? How? How can you say that?"

"Ziva why don't you understand?"

"I have nearly gotten you killed, on more than one occasion. I had your child, and I didn't tell you, for four years. I kept our child a secret from you for four years, how can you say that I make you happy. The only thing I do, is cause you grief. You should be angry at me. You should be completely infuriated with me. But you're not, and I..."

"Is that what you want? You want me to be infuriated with you?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because it's what I deserve."

"You don't deserve that."

"Yes, I do."

"Why do you think that?"

"I should have told you. You should hate me for not telling you, for keeping your son away from you, for four years. Four years of his life, that you can't get back. I took that from you. I decided that, and it was the wrong decision. You should be angry at me, for making that choice."

"I'm not."

"Why not?"

"You did what any mother would do. Your instinct was to try and protect him. That is what you did. That isn't something I should be mad at you for. You did what you thought was best."

"But it didn't include you."

"Now, if you made that decision, I would be angry at you. But four years ago... we were both different people. I was not ready to be a parent. I could barely take care of myself. I never would have been able to be the person that he needed me to be. You did the right thing."

"So why do I feel so bad?" she tries to hold back the tears.

"Mother's guilt. You love him. You feel like you took something away from him. You can't stand that."

"I don't deserve him."

"You don't deserve him? What is that supposed to mean?"

"I have spent four years trying to figure out what I have done, in my life, to deserve him. What did I do right, to deserve the opportunity to have him? He's healthy, and beautiful, and smart. What did I ever do, to deserve a kid like him?"

"You are the reason that he is all of those things."

"I have gotten lucky."

"No. You haven't. You created him. You are the one that has shaped him into the person that he is."

"How? I have made so many mistakes. He is kind, and gentle, and..."

"That's because of you. It's because you love him. Because you have tried your best, to give him the childhood that you never had."

"Every single day I wake up, and I wonder if I am doing good enough. I ask myself if I am doing a good enough job of being his mother. I just... I feel like I'm not. I feel like I could do more, do better."

"No matter what, you are always going to feel that way."

"Why?"

"Because he's your everything. He's the reason you wake up in the morning, when you just want to stay in bed. He's the reason you come home at night, when you just want to drown your sorrows. He's the reason you try harder, when you feel like giving up."

He wipes away the tears, as they trickle down her cheeks.

"I thought we weren't going to talk about Max."

"It's all the mistakes that we made, that got us here."

"Here? Where is here?"

"Right here, where we are in this moment."

She looks up at him, and makes a realization, "I never told you thank you."

"For dinner?"

She smiles, and shakes her head. "No. For giving me the most incredible little boy, I've ever met."

"I didn't do a whole lot. You did most of the work. I should be thanking you. I mean he's got your looks, and your smarts. He just gets the charm, from me."

"And some of the looks," she adds.

"None of the smarts?"

"Some of the smarts."

"Ziva?"

"Yes?"

"Would it be wrong of me, to want us to be a family? A real family? One that lives together and..."

She cuts him off, with her answer, "No. It wouldn't be wrong," she stares into his eyes.

"What is that look for?"

She doesn't answer. He stares back at her. Her eyes smile at him. They are much happier than he's seen them in a while. He takes a chance. He cups her face, with his hand, and pulls her towards him.

She doesn't resist as he moves her face towards his. She doesn't attempt to pull away, when his lips reach hers. She closes her eyes, and tries to let go.

He kisses her, and she kisses him back. He feels the adrenaline rushing through his body. She always did that to him, when he stood too close. She was dangerous, like that. And that's what he had fallen in love with in the first place. In fairness it wasn't love, to begin with. It was lust, that quickly changed to love.

She feels his fingers pull her hair out of her pony tail. She knew what was going to happen, but it didn't matter. She didn't care about the rules. She didn't care about what other people thought. He was the father of her child. When she saw him, with their son, her heart melted. She had wondered, for a long time, but it had only been a few weeks, since she found out for sure. She has a hard time keeping her heart beating out of her chest, as the man that she is in love with, kisses her.


	22. Goodnight, Max

She jerks into consciousness. She opens her eyes, and looks at the room around her. She stares at the clock on the stand, next to the bed. 0348. She didn't need to be up for over an hour.

"Go back to sleep," his arms wrap around her.

She relaxes, and allows him to hold her. She exhales, as she lays her head on his chest. It had been a long time, since she had felt like this. It had been a long time, since she had let herself go, that far. She needed him, and he needed her. They had always had a deep connection. This time it was even stronger, because of what they shared. They shared a past, a history, a son. She closes her eyes, and falls back to sleep.

She wakes up, in his shirt, covered up by a sheet. She looks at the clock. She jumps out of bed, and into the shower. When she gets out of the shower she finds her clothes lying out on the bed, for her. She quickly slips them on, and pulls her hair out of her face. She exits the bedroom, and finds Tony in the kitchen. He hands her a travel mug.

"Come on, time to go."

That night she returns to her own apartment. She relieves the sitter. She finds Max passed out on the couch. She sits down beside him. She puts her hand on his back.

"I'm home," she tells him.

He rolls over and looks at her. He smiles widely. "Hi."

"Are you ready for bed? It's pretty late."

"I tried to wait up, for you."

"Because you missed me?"

"That too."

"That too? What do you mean?"

"I wanted to see how your date went."

"It was good."

"Did I win the bet?"

"I don't know, your dad didn't tell me what it was."

"Did you kiss him?"

"Did I kiss him? Why would you ask that?"

"Answer me," he looks at her, with heavy eyelids.

She shoots him a look.

"Please," he corrects himself.

"Why would you want me to kiss him?"

He smiles, "Because that's what grown-ups do, when they like each other."

"Really?"

"Not just as friends," he adds.

"And that's what you want?"

"Uh huh."

"Why?"

"So I can be with you, and dad, at the same time."

"I see."

"Mom?"

"Yeah, Max?"

"If you love him, you should tell him."

"Where did that come from?"

"I don't know," he shrugs.

"Max, I think it's time for you to go to bed."

"You didn't answer my question."

"It's time for bed."

"Mommy! You're being mean."

"I'm not being mean. It is way past your bed time."

"But I'm not sleepy. I took a nap."

"Max, bed, now," she points.

He slides off the couch, and sulks all the way to his room. She follows him to his room. He climbs under his covers. She goes to give him a kiss goodnight, and he turns his head.

"What was that for?"

"No kisses, until you answer me."

"Max!"

He crosses his arms across his chest.

"Why are you being so cranky?"

"Because."

"Because is not an answer."

"Mommy's and daddy's are supposed to love each other, when they have kids. They're supposed to be together."

"That doesn't always happen, Max."

"But you love dad, and he loves you."

"How do you know?"

"Because he told me so."

"I see."

"If you love each other, you should be together. Why can't you just be together? For me? Isn't that a good enough reason?"

She smiles, "Yes."

"Yes?"

"Max, go to sleep. We can talk about this in the morning."

"No. I won't be able to sleep. Just tell me now."

"Tell you now?"

"Did you kiss him, or not?"

"That was your bet?" she surmises.

"I don't want to lose my blanket."

"Max you always get your way, don't you?"

"No, not always."

"When, don't you get your way?"

"Last Christmas, when I asked for a puppy, or a dinosaur, or a brother."

"Max..."

"I didn't get any of those."

"I got you a puppy," she points to the toy bin, "It's right there, and your dinosaur is over there," she points to the plastic toy on the floor.

"I wanted real ones."

She rolls her eyes, "Max, there aren't any real dinosaurs left."

"I would have settled for a Lizard."

"You are too young to take care of an animal."

"I'm not too young for a brother."

"We are not going to have this discussion, again."

"Fine, just tell me, did you kiss him."

She kisses him on the forehead, "Yes."

"On the forehead?" Max questions.

"Does it matter?"

"Yes. You kiss kids, and old people on the forehead."

"It wasn't on the forehead."

"On the cheek?"

"No."

His eyes light up, "On the mouth?"

She gets off the bed. She walks towards the door. She reaches the wall, and turns off the light. "Goodnight, Max."


	23. Life Ain't Always Fair

They drive towards the crime scene, with the other two team members, following behind them, in another car. She quietly looks out the window. He clears his throat, and draws her attention to him. His voice interrupts the silence.

"What are you waiting for?" he asks, seemingly out of the blue.

"Gibbs, I don't know what you're talking about."

"Yes you do. Are you waiting on an engraved invitation?"

"No."

"So what are you waiting on?"

"The right time."

"Ziva, there is never going to be a right time. The only time you've got, the only time anyone's got, is now. Do you understand me?"

"I just... I don't know if I'm ready."

"How are you ever going to know, if you never try?"

"It's not just me that I'm worried about."

"Kids are resilient."

"I don't want him to get hurt."

"You can't protect him from everything. No matter how hard you try, you can't."

"But I can protect him from this."

"Are you really protecting him, or are you trying to protect yourself?"

"Sometimes I'm not really sure."

"Ziva, you have to have faith."

"I do have faith."

"That things will work out the right way."

"I gave up on that dream, a long time ago."

"Maybe it's time you get it back."

She comes home late. She finds Max asleep in her bed. She grabs a quick shower, and climbs into bed next to him. He rolls towards her.

"Are you awake?" he whispers.

"Yes. You need to go to sleep."

"There's something I wanted to tell you."

"What's that, Max?"

"Love you."

"I love you too, goodnight."

"That wasn't it."

"Max, I'm tired. What did you want to tell me?"

"I want dad to stay over here, with us."

"We'll talk about it in the morning."

"Does that mean no?"

"It means, that we are going to go to sleep now."

"Do I have to go back to my bed?"

"No you can stay, unless you start kicking me."

"Ok," he snuggles up, next to her.

She opens her eyes, and realizes that the sun is already up. She begins to panic, but then realizes that it is Saturday. She rolls over, and finds a pair of eyes, just staring at her. He smiles at her, and she smiles back.

"Morning," he greets her.

"How long have you been awake?"

"A couple of minutes."

"Why are you still laying here?"

"I was waiting for you to wake up."

"Why?"

"Cause I want to talk about daddy."

"Oh, right."

"Can he stay over here, with us?"

"Why do you want him to stay over here?"

"Because I do. Can he please? Pretty please?"

"What's in it, for me?"

"I'll clean my room, before he comes. I'll makes sure that all of my toys are in the toy box. And I'll give you extra kisses."

"How could I say no to that?"

"Is that a yes?"

"Did you talk to your dad about this arrangement, yet?"

"No. Can I call him? Now?"

"Max, it's early. It's not even seven o'clock yet."

"That's not early."

"Its Saturday."

"Is dad coming over today?"

"I don't know what his plans are."

"Can he stay tonight? We can watch movies all night long, and eat candy, and..."

"No, no candy. You get too wound up."

"Pizza?"

"Maybe."

"I want to call dad."

"Wait, I'm sure he'll call."

"What am I supposed to do, until then?"

"Go back to sleep."

"But I'm awake."

"Go watch cartoons, like you do every Saturday morning."

"What kind of cereal do we have?"

"You're the one who eats it," she reminds him.

"I don't remember what's left. I really want some fruit loops, and maybe I'll mix in some fruity pebbles."

"You don't need both of them," she disagrees.

"But it's more fun."

"I think that you're crazy."

"Mommy?"

"Huh?"

"If I'm crazy, what are you?"

"Are you going to go watch cartoons, or what?"

"Will you watch with me, please?"

"No batman."

"No Batman? He's my favorite."

"Max, we've watched every one of them, at least twice."

"It's better the third time."

"Why don't you go clean your room?"

"Clean my room?" he grumbles.

"You didn't think that I was going to let that slide, did you?"

"I thought I could do it after."

"No."

"Why not?" he whines.

"Because then you'll find a reason not to do it."

"No fair," he crosses his arms. He slides off the bed, and stomps off, to his room.


	24. In The Eyes Of A Child

She sits on the couch, reading a book. She tries to block out the sound of Max, in his room, grumbling. She hears toys being throw across the room, hopefully into the toy box. She hears someone knocking on the door. She sits her book on the coffee table. She gets up, and wonders over to the door. She checks the peephole, and unlocks the door. She pulls it open.

He smiles, "I brought breakfast."

"Ok."

"Why are you walking like that?"

She looks down at her feet, "I just got done painting my toenails."

"Where is Max? He isn't up yet?"

"He's up."

"Where is he?"

"He's cleaning his room."

"Can I..."

She shoots him a look, "If you interrupt him, you will get to clean his room."

"But..."

"He is not coming out, until he is done."

"Coffee?" he holds out a cup.

She nods, and takes it from him, "Thank you."

"So what are you doing?"

"I was reading."

"You don't help him clean his room?"

"I don't help him make the mess," she replies.

"How long before he's done?"

"I don't know," she shrugs.

"How long has he been at it?"

"Only twenty minutes."

"What takes him so long?"

"It is a disaster."

"What did he do?"

"The other day he was pretending that there was a bomb in his toy box. He had to dig most of them out, to try, and disarm it. When he couldn't, the rest of the toys flew out."

"All on their own?"

"According to him, that is what happened."

"You don't buy it?"

"No, the bomb was imaginary."

"Do you always make him clean his room on his own?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because he makes the messes on his own."

"He's still little."

"He is perfectly capable of putting his toys back into his toy box. He can also put his dirty clothes into the laundry room. I do not expect him to dust, or wash his bedclothes."

"Do you make him make his bed?"

"He makes his bed every morning."

"Why are you so hard on him?"

"He needs to learn responsibility."

"So buy him a goldfish."

"I am not ready to deal with that, yet."

"Deal with what, yet?"

"If he wants a pet he will have to take care of it. When he doesn't, and it dies, then I have to deal with it."

"You won't feed his goldfish, for him?"

"No," she shakes her head.

"Why not?"

"Because then he will never learn."

"Don't you think that you are being a little bit harsh?"

"No."

"Mom, can I be done now?" Max calls from the other room.

"I would hate to come in there, and find things piled under your bed."

"I'm done."

"If I come in there, I'm not going to find anything under the bed, am I?"

"Ok, maybe I'll double check."

Ziva takes a seat on the couch. Tony opens the bag, and pulls out a muffin. He holds it up.

"Muffin?" he asks her.

"Hm?" she stares into her book.

"No, Zi, do you want a muffin?"

She looks up. "Not right now."

"Max, hurry up! Your mom is being a party pooper. I thought we could go to the park, and do some other fun stuff, today."

"Ok, I'm done," he comes running out of his room. He climbs up Tony.

"Are you ready to go?"

"Yep, I'm ready."

Ziva puts her book down. She looks up, at Max. "Whoa! Not so fast."

"Mom! I'm ready to go."

"Maybe you should ask permission," Tony suggests.

"Isn't she going with us?"

"I was hoping that she would, but she seems kind of cranky."

"You can't go, because you are in your pajamas," Ziva reveals.

"What is wrong with pajamas?" Tony questions.

"Yeah?" Max seconds.

"You have two choices Maximilian. You can stay in your pajamas, and stay here. I think that it would be better if you would just go put your clothes on. Then we can leave, and you will not be cranky all day."

"Fine!" he huffs, and jumps out of Tony's arms. He hops onto the floor. He runs into his room.

"Are you coming with us?" Tony questions.

"I suppose."

Max races out of his room. He stops in front of Tony. He looks up at him, with a grin.

"What do you need buddy?"

"When are you and mommy going to get married?"

"I... do you want us to get married?"

"I think you should," he answers.

"And why is that?"

"Then you can kiss her, whenever you want."

"Who says I want to kiss her?"

"I did."

"Why do you think that?" Ziva questions.

"Cause you look at each other with googly eyes, all the time."


	25. 3 Carats

She steps into her apartment. She finds dinner sitting on the table. She looks at her partner, in extreme confusion.

"Where's Max? I thought that you were going to pick him up."

"He's with Abby."

"Why?"

He just smiles, and lights the candles in the center of the table.

"You cooked?"

"Yep."

"What's the occasion?"

"Can't I just cook dinner for my partner, and the mother of my child?"

"No, not without an ulterior motive."

"I don't have an ulterior motive."

"You want sex?" she guesses.

"Always, that's not why I'm being so thoughtful."

"Why are you being so thoughtful?"

"Have a seat."

"No. What's going on?"

"Please, just have a seat. You're going to ruin it."

"Ruin what?"

"Sit!" he barks.

She takes a seat. He smiles, and pours her a glass of champagne. He sits the bottle down, and drops to his knees, beside her.

She furrows her brow, "What are you doing? Get off the floor. Tony, why are you down there?"

He smiles devilishly. The smile reminds her of Max's. He reaches for her hand.

"What are you doing?"

He reaches into his pocket, and pulls out a box. He pops it open, and holds it out for her to see.

"Will you marry me, and make me the second happiest guy in the whole world."

"Second happiest?"

"Second to Max," he clarifies.

"No," she shakes her head.

"No? You won't marry me? That's not what I expected you to say."

"No. If you're going to do this, it needs to be done right. I may not..."

"I did. I did everything by the book. I swear."

"No. The answer is no."

"Why not?"

"You have to ask my father first. I know that I..."

He cuts her off, "I did."

"You did?"

"Yes," he nods.

"What did he say?"

"That you are a grown woman, and that you can make your own decisions. He said that you stopped asking for his blessing a long time ago, and that all he wants is for you to be happy."

"I don't buy it."

"Would you like to call him, and ask him?"

"Why are you asking me this?"

"Because I want to marry you."

"You don't believe in marriage."

"No," he smiles, "but I believe in you. And, that's enough for me."

"Are you feeling alright? Did you hit your head, or something?"

"No."

"This is kind of out of the blue," she points out.

"Not really. In fact I'm surprised that you didn't know."

"How would I know?"

"I've been planning it for months. Max has known for weeks. He helped pick out the ring."

"Why do you want to get married."

"I don't want to lose you."

"I'm not going anywhere. You don't have to marry me."

"I want to marry you."

"But."

"Max wants us to get married."

"That isn't a good enough reason."

"I thought that you would do anything for him."

"I would."

"But you don't want to marry me?"

"No," she shakes her head.

"You're seriously turning me down? You don't want to get married?"

"I do, but I don't think that you do."

"I wouldn't ask you, if I didn't want to get married."

"You're not ready."

"Yes, I am. I am asking you, to marry me. Let's get married, and live happily ever after."

"There is no such thing as happily ever after."

"But we could try."

"No."

"I'm just going to keep asking, until you say yes."

"You'll stop asking."

"No, I won't."

"Does Gibbs know about this?"

"He told me where to go to get a ring. He even hooked me up with a discount. They know him pretty well."

"A discount ring?"

"Not really a discount. Only the best for you."

"There is no way that you're being serious."

"I am."

"There is no way that ring is real."

"Why?"

"The stone is huge. You can't afford something like that."

"Test it, and see. I guarantee that it's a real stone."

"No."

"Go ahead," he hands her the ring.

She inspects it closely. She locks eyes with him.

"It's only three carats. I thought that five carats was a little bit too big."

"You're kidding, right? How much did it cost?"

"How much does college tuition cost?"

"Tony..."

"So you'll marry me, then?"

"No," she shakes her head.


	26. Why

"No?" he feels a lump form in his throat.

"That is what I said," she admits.

"Why not?"

"I don't want to marry you. I don't want to get married."

"Ziva, I don't understand. I love you. I want to be a family, with our son."

"I can't."

"Can't, or won't?"

"I don't want to marry you."

"Why not? Tell me, what am I doing wrong?"

"You aren't doing anything, wrong. I don't expect you to understand."

He feels her shutting down, "Ziva, let me in. Tell me what's wrong."

"I don't want to get married. I always envisioned my father walking me down the aisle."

"He can."

"I don't want him to."

"So, that means that we can't get married?""I..."

He takes her hand, in his, "I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. If you don't feel the same, then I understand. I will take the ring back. I just want to make you happy. I'm sorry, that I asked. I just thought that this is what you wanted."

"I don't know what I want."

"And, that's ok, too."

"No," she shakes her head, "It's not."

He looks into her eyes, and sees something that he hasn't seen in a while. A fear, that she keeps buried deep, within.

"You're scared, and I understand that. Everyone you have ever loved, or allowed to get close to you, has been taken from you, in one way or another. I am not ever going anywhere. I will not leave you, or our son."

"Sometimes, you have no control over that."

"Do you want me to quit NCIS? If that is what it will take, I'll do it. I will take a job as a P.E. teacher."

"I don't want you to do that."

"Ziva, I am being genuine, here. I would do that for you. I would take a bullet for you. I would do, anything, for you."

"I know, that's why I can't marry you."

"Excuse me?"

"You would do anything for me, and I have not yet done anything to repay the debt that I already owe you."

"You owe me nothing."

"I owe you everything. If it were not for you, I would not be here, now. I would be a skeleton, in an unmarked grave, in the middle of the desert."

"Ziva, you have given me the greatest gift I could ever receive. You gave me a child. That is not something I can ever repay."

"And, I kept him from you, for all of these years. Why you would choose to forgive me, I will never understand."

"I love you."

"Why?"

"Because you are the only woman, in the entire world, who is bold enough to look at me, and be completely honest with me."

"I can't marry you."

"Why not?"

"Because I am incredibly flawed. I do not deserve you."

"That is not true. You are the most incredible person I have ever met, in my entire life."

"I am not a good person. I have done so many terrible things."

"Ziva, stop! I love you. Will you just let me love you?"

"I don't know how."

"You let Max love you."

"I don't let him. It is not as if that was ever a conscious decision. The moment I realized he was there, my only instinct was to protect him. I cannot explain that. All I know, is that the second I laid eyes on him, I loved him. I did not choose that, it just happened."

"I choose you. I will, always choose you. Forever, and ever, until the end of time."

"I do not want to marry you, because I do not want to keep you from..."

He cuts her off, "You are not keeping me from anyone, or anything. I want you. Why can't you see that? You are the only one I have ever wanted."

She stares at him, but says nothing. He squeezes her hand, reminding her that he is not going anywhere. He brushes a stray stand of hair out of her face. He cups her chin, in his hand.

"I love you. I have asked your father permission. I have asked Gibbs permission. I have cleared this with Max. Now I am asking you, will you let me in your heart? Will you let me love you? Will you marry me?"

"I... I don't want my father to come. He doesn't deserve to be any part of it. He did not make me the person that I am. He tried to turn me into a monster, and..."

He cuts her off. He smiles, "I already asked, if Gibbs would walk you down the aisle."

"Oh."

"He said that he would be honored. So, will you marry me?"

"Would you be asking, if Max didn't insist."

"Honestly, no. If Max didn't exist, I wouldn't have enough courage, on my own, to ever ask you. He is the one who pushed me to do this. That kids is the most amazing kid I've ever met. He reminds me of what is really important in this life."

"You would never have asked?"

He shakes his head, "No. I have waited to be with you, for so long, that I just assumed you would never want to be with me. I told myself that I wasn't your type, that I wasn't good enough."

"Oh."

"Are you going to marry me, or not?"

"Yes," she finally relents.

His lips widen into a smile. He grins from ear to ear, as he pulls her into a kiss. When it's over, he slips the ring on her finger.

"When do you want to get married? I was thinking next June," he suggests.

Her lips curl into a smile, "I was thinking more like next week."

"I thought that you would want a big wedding."

"No," she shakes her head.

"Who would we invite?"

"Just family. Max, and your father, Gibbs, Abby, McGee, that's it."

"That's it?"

"That's enough."

"Ok," he nods, in agreement.


End file.
